yellow bird
chirps patiently
feeder empty
sunflower seeds
scattered on grass
birds dig deep
bright feathers
flash in sunlight
fed and watered
Author notes
modern haiku chain about canary
A contest entry
- KINGFISHER HAIKU by Swan song.
2600 points, ended September 5, 2008, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites Contest by tears.of.silence.
1000 points, ended April 18, 407 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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great work on this. this is so lovely. You've made a 20 for this poem as well giving you a total of 40 thus far. thanks for entering and best of luck to you.kahy
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Nice Chain!
of that trophy! Like how you link the chains with a progressive image of the birds being fed & watered. Nice touch.
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This reminds me of my childhood...when I first glimpsed the beauty of nature.
Mariana
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Nice nice nice. So glad to see a silver trophy on this gem. I love good Haiku and do struggle so with writing it myself. Well done. Such a delight. ~Pamela
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I enjoyed it
immensly. The first Haiku made me smile with the last line and there certainly was an aha moment with it. The progression of the Haiku were so well developed. I took a journey through the brief glimpse of a Cannary's life lol.
Lovely stroll through a bright afternoon. Thank you for sharing.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy -
I cannot help but see the bird feeders outside the kitchen window of my boy hood home
very nice
ken
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I love to read well-written haikus yet am at a loss when it comes to composing one myself. I loved the progression from hunger to satisfaction. We have three bird feeders in our backyard and I love to watch the birds as they twitter with their friends. Congratulations on your silver trophy.
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Outstanding
I have never attempted to write a haiku and I always read them with interest. This is very creative and you manage to add depth to the poem by using the chain to add layers of meaning. This is a great poem that deserved to win a trophy.
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This is vivid and tender.
Well-expressed.
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Bandit Appreciation
Thank you for this wonderful entry to the reading list your participation is appreciated!
The Poetic Bandits
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This is a beautiful poem, the imagery is crafted very well and the whole thing creates such beautiful pictures - I really like modern haiku, and this is done wonderfully ... a well deserved silver indeed!
Keep writing
Polly
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Great descriptive imagery employed here, a visual treat(with sound effects!). You have captured the scene well in this haiku chain, well done!
Congrats on the silver Trophy!
Dennis
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this was great
such a wonderful display of nature through some simple imagery
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simply elegant
black ink on cream parchment
snapshot of life.
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Beautiful haiku chain! Great job! and congrats on the silver trophy! well deserved!
Love & light
Debbera
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Beautiful haiku chain. Great write, thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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These are three very very good haiku and I think you for entering. All three worked very well
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lovely images here
mal
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Superb
Ah, a very cool write indeed. Your first line reminds me of that old song: "Yellow Bird", at least I think that was the title. I'll have to look it up. Here's the link to the lyrics of "Yellow Bird", on an unusual website. http://deenotes.homestead.com/yellowbird.html -
What a sweet haiku! It is very refreshing. Me like!! Shancy.
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Very cute...I can imagine this bird in the yard getting his meal!
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