she believes love is nothing ... but man’s
obsession with
labeling that which they will never explain.
a kiss ---
is physical.
tightly she grips her chain
as Eve bruises the apple,
Adam forks out his tongue,
and Mary finds her womb empty
just as the snake begins to laugh ...
H.L. Peterson (August 2008)
Author notes
http://media.photobucket.com/image/love/mirandabri08/__-.jpg?o=34 (picture credit)
A contest entry
- reserve! by written-in-ink.
900 points, ended August 28, 2008, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
-
Im not used to you posting pictures with your words proph.
I do adore this one, the last 3 or 4 lines really kick it into place
-
Wow..if that's Sunflower, she's younger than I thought.... LOL
Stacy
-
To me, it's about naivity that ruined to girl. I love the style you write in. Good job.
-
my mind cannot fully comprehend this, but i know this is a beautiful work of art.
-
As Awesome As I Remember
After a verrrry long absence to Allpoetry, having the first poem I read be this one, makes my day. There are still some kindred souls out there that make me glad to be back. I love the juxtoposition of Adam and the snake. However, on the first line/last line question... the first line was not as engaging as the last, but that is the way I love it. To be left with an impression is much better than a quick fix anyday.
-
WOW so now I have a twist on the ieda of love, of physical desire, and religion.....hummmmmm It is a thinker that is forsure. Well done. It is a little of a slap within the face for those of us that wish to believe in something more......Love.
-
This is definitely one of your best. It's a bit shorter than you typically write and I don't know if it was a conscious attempt but the result is a strong piece. I've probably told you before I'm not a huge fan of ellipses in poetry (really don't think you need them at the end, just to end left like that would be powerful enough)
ending with beginnings is excellent
I wish I cold express my reaction the way Liza has in her comment below.
-
Again--biblical imagery and metaphor--and I get it. Good stuff, but I suspect you may already know that...
Saffron
-
she believes love is nothing ... but man’s
obsession with
labeling that which they will never explain.
---
the way you wrote that was amazing!
this was really well written. i liked the idea in the second stanza it was very unique and it made me smile.. i dont know if it was supposed to haha
goodluck in the contest
-
my dad used to call me his sunflower
though he never did after he knew I had sex
lol
enjoyed this a great deal
-
she or he...believes love is nothing...?
a kiss is just physical...
...let's change that sometime when we're on the porch...Love, Lane
-
the snakes always laugh-
nice writing- one of your best
m
-
Inevitability my dear Watson.
The attractive force of everything will always be what it is. I've always thought there was some irony in the choice of the names of quarks -- up, down, strange, charmed, top and bottom. Perhaps it's fitting that at least -- for now -- there remains no 'love' one?
The snake being as natural as nature can be will always laugh. How can it not?
-
it's nice how you cleverly incorporate your muse Sunflower with the picture
with an amazing perspective on love and that kiss.
an awesome ending of the snake... it almost feels like it has a mocking laugh.
Anna Lee
-
A kiss...is an exhalation, an exchange of breath between souls ~ inspiration.It is truly (still) an artform. At least, if they're doin' it right, it is. lol
Beautiful, my Friend.
~ lil' night
-
beware of laughing snakes...
Such an original take on the picture, with your unique sense of clever cynicism. Good to see you post again.
-
amazingly jealous of your entry <3
-
wow!!!
amazing!!!!
good way to take the prompt
very nice!!
i loved every word!
Adding your comment:
1 - 18 of 18
