She woke startled in haunted house
and heard a melody of Strauss ...
but dancing tone grew cold in chill --
she rose and fled against her will.
Outside she found no place to hide,
the stars were frost, moon in dark slide.
Deep in her heart she felt the power,
that came for her in midnight hour.
She knelt, in prayer and anguish fired,
by God and Holy Ghost inspired:
In Jesus Name, protect, oh Son,
your child of light, from evil done.
Immediately, a hard hand grasped
her arm, in agony her heart was clasped.
She turned around to face her foe:
her eyes were locked in gaze aglow.
But then, slow motion, as in dream,
the fiery gaze turned to soft gleam.
Black claw stretched out to wipe eyes' tear,
a harsh voice whispered: Go, my dear.
Author notes
Prompt: Picture 9. http://media.photobucket.com/image/haunting/missy2071/Favorites%20in%20Color/45f710d69d9e5_s.jpg?o=891
Truth. A psychopath once comforted my fear.
In a list
A contest entry
- Haunting Quickie by solitarytear.
600 points, ended August 27, 2008, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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Congratulations on the HM. Near the end I wanted to close my eyes but then I wouldn't get to see the ending. A chilling tale with a happy ending. What better way to start my morning.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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I love the flow and rhyme. The tone is marvelous. Too bad that we cannot always be rescued from our fears and agonies. Good luck. ~ Joyce
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wow
you did a amazing job at bring this picture to life.....every word captured my attention and held it -
the last verse was surprising but pleasing, I never thought of it that way. I learn something new every time I read you
Good luck in contesr sweet poetess
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Judy ...
as a child I cried for the devil and his stupidity ... I wanted to save him! Also: I opposed various psychologists who told me sociopaths cannot be cured. I truly believe that God can touch ANYONE in a miraculous moment of healing. Of course, He has his own divine plan. Darkness has no power over the soul. If we all would only want to truly LIVE this.
Thank you for reading and for the ever so kind comment.
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A very interesting poem to read, Excellently written and was enthraled from start to finish.
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Thank you so much for taking time to read ...
and to comment, too.
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deep and powerful
I loved this poem. It's so dark and deep. Made me scared for the girl in the poem.
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In my life there were many moments of agony ...
and deep sorrow. God allowed those to come over me for a reason ... it made me deeply compassionate for others who suffer. Thank you for reading ...
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My word! I could feel the panic in this! How frightening it must have been for you....and then to face a psychopath too! Brilliant write. well done.
Slayer
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One is often not so brave ...
in retrospect, but in the moment God is there ... Thank you for reading and commenting.
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This must have been
a frightening experience, especially if you were then a child. It so reminds me of the days when I feared almost everything, especially the dark. Then one day, it all dissapeared. I remember that when fear 'hit me', I began to pray the 'Our Father', and this helped me a great deal. I felt the fear in this poem, and although I wanted the outcome to be as you have written it, I was very conscious of the fact that it could have turned out differently. The flow provides 'edge' accentuated by the words and their structure. I experienced more than 'hope', a 'promise' that He will always keep. Thank you for sharing this with us. Frans
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This man was a "friend" of the family ...
and a psychopath and a criminal mind (and I was 16 years old). It was the only time I can recall that I saw some life in his eyes. God protected me ... I have no doubt about that.
It made me think of the mercy of God. So often we believe that some souls are lost. How can we tell? Only God knows ...
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How interesting
This write held me the entire way and oh what an ending this was . Keep up the great work here
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Thank you for reading ...
and for an encouraging comment. Love to you.
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So good
I really liked this!
I dont even know how to explain it! It just had me on edge the whole time but was so hopeful at the same time.
I think I should remember to sleep more before I try and write these coz I have no idea what to write which normally makes my comment pointless! (sorry!)
but I really liked it overall!
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I felt the same while writing it ...
yes, that is it: on edge. For: I experienced the entire situation once again ... Good to have written it. Thank you for reading.
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Beautifully written
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Thank you so much ..
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Good write . I like the way you brought fear and hope together in this and showed that strength and hope can overcome any fear .
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Ah, Poetess ...
thank you for a very true comment ...
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This is a very imaginative piece, filled with colorful imagery. I always wish I could write poems like this. I have a hard time coming up with such imagery. Excellent write.
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Thank you so much ...
for your kind comment; I think you are mistaken: your poems are marvelous.
I do not write fiction. That is why my poems feel real, see? This truly happened.
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Nice!
I think the rhymes were a little forced, but I bet its a pain to tell a story in rhyme. It was still very good though. -
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They are better now lol ...
I tried.
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I think the rhymes are a little off, but there was so much that was really good in this, I don't think that matters too much. I really like the title, I think you have done a really good job with the prompt. I wish you the best of luck in the contest
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Do not be so rigid, Poet!
I may rhyme anyway I want to YAY! It is my poem, and I prefer to write it this way. See?
I can easily make it less off, but what the heck? Your comment is real cool, dude, I liked it.
Of course, only joking ... you win. I shall make the rhyme words more smooth. I like to reward honesty. 
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from plight to prayer and finally getting hope made an interesting reading...the smooth flow of words and rhyme is appreciable....
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Thank you so much for reading ...
and a kind comment, nilav ...
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This is a poem in which nothing can be said against the form. Almost perfect. Almost - because nothing is perfect. Now we can talk about what you want to say. "Go, my dear" - life and death, love and hatred - all together - like ALL here and now, in Reality. Thank you !
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How utterly mysterious ...
you commented on my poem, exactly when I commented on yours.
God may be smiling now. He is so mysterious.
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