standing in the window of ridicule,
size me up,
shrink me down,
I'm not right
the mannequin's clothes are wrong,
her hair is a wreck,
and look at her face,
her body,
look at that hideous mannequin
let's all stop and laugh,
let's all point and smile,
it's only a mannequin
listen, the mannequin speaks!
she speaks words too cryptic, too deep,
the mannequin has a voice
that is hollow and young,
this mannekin should be hidden away
let's all stop and laugh,
let's all point and smile,
it's only a mannequin
Author notes
Yesterday, at work, I was changing the mannekins in the display window like I always do. I was almost finished. I was putting the last mannekin back in the window. Then, I felt someone was watching me. I looked up and saw that two college-aged looking girls had stopped their car in the middle of the road to point and laugh at me. When I looked up at them, they drove off. It was just really annoying...and sometimes little things like that get to me. So I wrote this poem to vent.
So how was it?
Comments
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"mannekin" is actually spelled this way: "mannequin"
you've got commas down pretty well, but you should at least put some periods in there. It seems like it runs on forever and ever; semicolons could also be used, too.
it was a pretty great piece, just a few errors.
I would have followed those girls and asked them what their problem was...
XD anyways, it was great.
staygold.
-jenn
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Thanks for the spelling tip...I did spell check it, but I guess it missed it. Thanks for the comment.
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