ghosts and martyrs: juxtapositions
revolving in situ
total functionality
crenulated in spirited form
spoken out loud
in tongues...
methylated
spirits:
ghosts and martyrs juxtaposed
Author notes
*POW Contest*
A contest entry
- Poem of the Week - POW by Arkbear.
1000 points, ended August 25, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - How clever are you? by Copy.
850 points, ended November 12, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I'm so
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I dig your writing style, very similar to my own... but, in a contest that seeks some sort of, kind of well, story line in poetry form, I would not have entered this particular piece. I'm looking for more.
Otherwise, you're a talented individual.
Thank you and good luck. (: -
Hi there,
There's a lot to be said for "word economy" in poetry at times...but sadly...I really, really wish there had been just a bit more to this. The rather vague images and thoughts I interpreted were very interesting and had a lot of potential, just not quite enough substance and/or clarity to back it all up.
I think, if you'd had your theme in the AN it would have helped tremendously, although I do prefer to get my understanding from the poem itself. But that missing and mysterious theme sadly affected several areas of my scoring, as I'm sure you noticed. It was really hard for me to even say if this was original or not, without that information. There's nothing I can or would say is "wrong" with the poem other than needing to flesh it out a bit, so on that note I think there's a lot of potential here. Granted...there are those who will find a message...but for the average reader (like me 
) it could be a challenge. Other than that, I really can't find anything more that I could "critique".
Thanks so much for joining us in the POW, and I hope we'll be seeing more of your work in future contests. I do, btw, apologize for my (very!) late comment, and appreciate your (and everyone else's) patience as I've made my way through the entries.
Best wishes,
~J.
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I am sorry that I did not get to comment on this last night I did like what I read but I would of loved to have seen more I hope that you join us again for another POW contest
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a short write which has repeating words. normally that doesn't work in the PO' contests.. I like it though, some nice word choices. love the title by the way.
Theme - 9.4
Flow - 8.8... doesn't flow for me at all.
Title - 9.5... love the title.
Rules - 9.75... no theme.
Depth - 9.3... pretty good for a short poem.
Thoughts - 9.2... some nice thoughts. overall not much.
Word use - 9.6... nice.
Emotion - 9.0... not much.
Clarity - 9.0... your intent/message will be lost to a lot of people I fear.
Uniqueness - 9.2
total - 92.75
nice.
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Well this had some nice verbiage, but that's about it. It started off great but went nowhere I'm afraid. My scores tell the tale:
Title 9.0...I would not click on this Title... seems very convoluted.
Flow 8.5....too short to have one.
Depth 8.5....again no depth, the piece was to short to make me involved in anyway.
Theme 9.10..afraid the theme was not very unique and has been done before, quite a bit.
Feelings 9.00...emotion was non-existent.
Grammar 9.45.....Some nice verbiage, not enough substance.
Presentation 9.10... need to work on imagery and overall appearance, one stanza blocks are not going to attract the eye nor the mind.
Uncommonness 9.15 ... an overused theme, so not very creative here.
Sit & Ponder Affect 9.00... well this scored low in this department for me, because there was really nothing to ponder.
Ability to follow Rules 9.0...you did not put your theme in the Notes as requested.
Cupcrazy's Score: 89.8
This could go somewhere with some work!
No editing once a judge has touched your work~
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Hi - welcome
I would probably click on this title....it's unique and interesting.
I wasn't sure what your theme was - and it wasn't in your AN's - but I thought your wording was good, other than the repeats, and the fact that I wanted more to this write. This is a great start - it just cut short for me. I really hope you work with this - I would love to see what you do with it.
best wishes in the contest
** No editing once a judge has commented.
My scores will appear with final remarks. -
Hi, and welcome to the POW!
This is a very compact write.
You have not put your theme in AN, but it seems quite
clear that it is about "ghosts and martyrs: juxtaposed."
In a 24 word poem you have used five of the same words
twice, and two others repeat in varied form...
Juxtapostitions/juxtaposed, and spirited form/spirits.
Since methylated means combined with alcohol, am I to
assume these are inebriated spirits? Interpreting
'crenulated' as 'edged', I read: While inebriated, a
man weighs and balances his choices. However, his
condition warrants his conclusions null and void.
Good point, especially considering the minimum of words
used.
My scores will appear with final remarks. Best to you
in the contest!
Remember, no editing once a judge has commented. -
Hello
Welcome to the PO' Contest!
You have left me with only a few words to critique and score your write.....with that being said, my board shall explain better.....good luck and God bless,
Bear ~
Title 9.0...I would not want to click on this Title unless I wanted to read about this genre -
Flow 9.0....flow was good, but not enough to receive a higher score -
Depth 9.0....depth....hmmm....there really was none
....wanted more..25 line Max is not used 
-Theme 8.5...Theme is most common and can be found almost any place ....read similiar -
Feelings 8.5...sorry...not enough to score on -
Grammar 9.0...nice, but left me needing more to take-in and absorb -
Presentation 8.65....not enough to score...one long stanza is a no-no.....for me -
Uncommonness 7.6...nothing creative here....sorry....but please do not pull this entry, as it will ban you from any future contests with us.....and I see talent, just not enough to score on -
Sit & Ponder Affect 7.0...I did not have anything to ponder -
Ability to follow Rules 9.75...Theme left out of AN -
Bears Score: 86
Length and info is what I needed to give higher scores.....and I can tell you were on your way, but decided to cut it short
....curious as to what your other Judges are going to say ~No editing once a Judge has touched your work ~
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Different indeed...Love that word " Juxtaposed"
Good luck in the contest
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Very different and you used unusual words.good luck to you, Ros
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