I dance across the moon with powdered steps
And sweetened breath
My body flung forward
My arms flung upward
My reflection shown
In the bright dark sky
And my dry sweat
Rolling off in straight spirals becomes stars
Disappearing glistening
Some never stop or continue falling
Becoming silver ribbon streaks
I dance across the moon with my mouth open closed
Singing a song never known to me
And the somber notes rolling off my tongue
Take root in the sky
Cataclysmic these notes
This song
Are saving my world as they destroy it
I dance, standing still across the moon
As my eyes take in what they can
Drinking deep
I remember as best I can
A time when I did not dance across the moon
But all that was there is purified by the moon’s pale embrace
Then with a goofy grin and sense of satisfaction
I step forward continuing this unstoppable dance
And fall
Twisting through the rippling immaculate sky
Author notes
This poem was a pain to write to be honest. I was trying to sleep when it started writing itself, so pushy. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy it.
A contest entry
- The Fantasy Element by ArchOblivion.
600 points, ended September 7, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
any suggestions?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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very beautiful with fantastic imagery of the moon. It quite appeals to ethereal fantasy as well as personally since i adore the moon. Good read. Thanks for your entry and good luck to you.
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You're a new member and yet you already have this beautiful piece up for show. The imagery is stunning, the rhythm keeps the piece moving. The title hooked me, and the rest of the poem just helped draw me in. The ending is breathtaking. Lovely work here. I bet you'll win gold!
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Shows a great deal of strength and self-confidence for such a young writer. Need a bit of discipline, but you will learn that as you go on. If you're this good at 16, well...
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Yes!
oh my heck i loved it!!! i felt like i was dreaming! maybe it's bc it's 3am lol but really...it was very well penned!
i enjoyed it oh so much!! just beautiful!!
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Beautiful
I would only disagree with insane-sam in that the poem does NOT "embrace abnormalism". ALL is normal here, and beautiful. I do not know if this is only my interpretation, but I sense magnificant young love in this poem. Crazydream, "continue this unstoppable dance", fall, then dance across the moon again...
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...as i read this,it also makes me sway with the moon and dream!
...thanks!
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It's a really cool write. The sort of dreamy optimism combining with a dark style conveys that same kind of feeling to me and it's pretty refreshing at two in the morning. To me, the poem is openly embracing abnormalism. Not only does it advise to be youself, but also describes happiness and beauty in a completely unique and spontaneous person.
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