waiting waiting waiting
for your eyes to land on my ugly form
the form that inspires fear...
i pray you have xray vision
to see my inside, the inside that blooms like a ripe flower with
dripping adoration of your body
im going to paint my nails red and
i know you will notice and compliment me
i dont care if it's out of pity
just to hear those words fall from your lips
makes lugging my massive frame to the hospital
worth while...
you're going to suck the outside off me
compress the insides--
but that's just the problem, they've been formed and molded irreversibly
will spill and swelter out of the new thin frame
down to the filthy floor with the red blood droplets
oh oh oh...
and just so you will look at me
the moon is waxing
it is milky and cool
full and bright enough to bite into
the creamy substance will run down my chins
you are my moon
my earth
my pivotal sun
your orbit eyes
fall
fall
fall
onto me-
me, the hideous giantess
shave off this skin
take the flesh, take the blood
if only, if only
you will have me
Comments
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whatever inspired your poem was a great way to express yourself i loved the vivid detail i think this is one of my new favorites! thanks for sharing youre a fantastic writer!
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Wow. haha. No wonder you liked it so much. This is intense. I'm not sure EXACTLY what inspired it (after all, I was there) but I do like it. It's really intense emotionally and very real. People would do just about anything to get noticed by those they long for.
Um. I'm not entirely sure if "swuck" is a word. And some of the words in the same stanza need apostrophes. So some of the poem needs technical tuning, but otherwise, it's great! Keep up the good work!
<3 always Kimmy,
Carli.
^_^
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ahahahh 'swuck' how did I not catch that? >< I fixed all te things u sed
I dnt quite k were the inspiration came from myselff lol i tend to make up rly random crap sometimes
But I think it turned out very well, nice and free flowing. I always write best when Im around ppl I am comfortable with 
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