we were people of opposite bipolar charge
one of us was real, one of us was foraged,
I was a dead end, you were a lively start
you tried to stay held together
as I obliviously tore you apart.
you were the one, and I was just a friend
I was a simple request, and you were a demand
the day it was over- I went under
because you were the sun, and I was stormy thunder
you were the peace- but combined we were the war
I was the drifting, spinning ceiling-
you the walked on floor.
I was sober, and you were hammmered
I pronounced when you sputtered and stammered
I was random when you realted, and
I was loyal, when all others lied and cheated
you became modern when I became outdated
I was lost- were either of us found?
I was the silence drowned out with your sound
If I am despair, than you are hope
if you are to breathe, than I am to choke.
You are awake, I am asleep,
you are victory, and I am defeat.
If you are innocent, than am I to blame?
even though we're opposites,
I get this feeling we're somehow the same
I am these words, you are the hopeful muse
it finally, all makes sense to me
but you still stand there
and look confused.
Author notes
Words-are just words. Sorry I rhymed.
A contest entry
- About me, not for me ... by written-in-ink.
750 points, ended August 25, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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beautiful write. I loved it.
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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW
ive never ever given applause before
but here you go
hope they show up lol dont know how you use them
THIS IS AMAZING
perfect in all its simplicity , reality and comparason.
thank you.
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great context, but the rhyme id take a lot of personality out of it ... i bet this would kick ass if you just let it flow and not let fake words line up into real stanzas
the best part is your realism ... your honesty, and intelligent grasp of that, and/or situation ... actually well done for a young girl ...
*cheers* -
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thank you. it means millions
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This is beautiful. I dont wnat to take away from it by filling up this comment with a bunch of fluff words about how good this is. you know what it is, you felt it, you breathed it. and thats what it is, you. Flawlessly poetic.
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amazing write.
i adore it.
haa. it's hard to even pick a favorite part.
it's all so great.
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im glad you like it cus i really don't
ha. thanks though <3
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gah very nice poem
with obviously a very deep meaning
i love the whole message of the poem ery nice
and maybe so true>..?
and i hate to admit it
but yes im confused...
and its fine that you rhymed
i just did too
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