Prescribed By My Psychiatrist and My Many Therapists oO!!

A Contest For Women Only ... 1,000,003  points ...  adult, lotsafun 

Your Prompt (which they left up to me):

SIT ON ME NAKED AND TRY TO STRANGLE ME

Having been strongly urged by my Psychiatrist and my many therapists to  try to make some friends of the opposite sex, have a more realistic attitude about my charms, learn how to get along better with female supervisors, increase my ability to be a team player and, most importantly, learn how to be ‘sensitive’ to the needs of others, especially women and to stop considering them to be sex objects and chattel for my cheap pleasure (their words not mine) and, also in celebration and being very happy that the charges brought against me by the police regarding the neighbor’s dog who barked every night but no longer does, having disappeared from his short leash in the her back yard on the night he stopped barking, for I assured the police I was sound asleep, as usual, and that I have never had a friend who owns a farm in another state who I drove the dog to after releasing him, and who now lives the happy life of a free dog chasing pigs and cows for fun, and that even though they pointed out that they did not ask about anything like that, I assured them it was true ... but I digress. 

Also, the above was an incomplete, blabber mouth, run-on sentence.  Those are encouraged, as I am sure that you recognize this completely, and are used to that style of expression, especially if you are a bureaucrat or anything like that, which you probably are if you don’t work in a restaurant or dancing establishment or something like that and stuff.

Anyhow, I shall try to stop using insulting and sexist remarks, learn how to treat other people, and women, with respect and try to learn the attributes which my psychiatrist and my many therapists insist I sadly lack, even though I consider them to be a bunch of man hating reprobates who haven’t got the brains that god gave an animal cracker .... ahem ... anyhow ... as I was saying I am quite sane ...and rich .... I am single, you see.

I want you to write me a nice, dirty ... mmm ... I mean, sensual poem, or story, short and concise, using the above prompt: 

Sit On Me Naked And Try To Strangle Me.    ....

these are the rules:

1.  You have to write about doing that to me.  I mean, I would like you to write about that. You don’t have to pretend that you are interested in me. I will understand because even though the conniving, nasty women I work with pretend that they don't  .
 
2.  Long, unnecessary phrasing is encouraged and explicit noun/verb combinations will be smiled upon, since you are probably too stupid ... oops,,,, I mean, since you are probably used to writing in your own excellent style well, I am sure that this will be easy for you to achieve.

3.  You may enter as many times as you wish.  That means you may enter more than one time.  I will allow pre-writes and think that those should be very interesting and shall be smiled upon very greatly indeed!!!

4.  Grammar and spelling errors are okay, because I understand, and am learning to be sensitive and not a sexist pig like those overpaid mental health bitties claim that I am,  but remember, if you go beyond 1000 words, which means more than 1000 words,  you will not be eligible for the gold or silver, but only the bronze.  Afterall, I am trying to get rid of sexist, degrading language like ‘gold digging’ from my vocabulary.  Okay?

Awards: 

Gold — 1 points 
Silver — 2 points 
Bronze — 1,000,000 points

If you use your calculators you will be able to clearly see that adds up to exactly one million and three points.

Enough said.

I hope that I learn teamwork and how to get along with women in a subordinate position, and also how to be sensitive and learn to become aware of the needs of others. 

I am single, and rich.  Also I am sane, you see.


So, have fun, Ladies, and Good luck !!  **)  I am sane.