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Ocean Splash

I walk along the rocky shore
Wondering when I'll see you again
When I call, you don't answer
When I write, you don't respond
But you told me you loved me
What happened to that
Is there something I'm missing
Or is our love just dead
So why can't you answer?
Just to clear up the confusion

I come here every day waiting for you

Kicking the water and watching the splash

The ripples are strong and even

But then disappear as if they hadn't existed

Almost like our love

 

Author notes

This isn't my best work but certanily not my worst. I do have a bit of a mind block going on here. So yea thanks for the pic:
http://girltripped.deviantart.com/art/Happening-Somewhere-Else-54141569

A contest entry

Is that ok???

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Alyzeh
    September 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow is all I can say. So simply written but the message was sent across easily! If this is true, the person who left you is very unlucky!

    Keep up the good work! I'll read more! Hehe!


  • Deathwolf Tasagka
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That is very poetic, its sad and deep as the ocean within its words. I loved that emotion, its current was revolving and continously shifting to a new cry, it was very well written out. Great write.

    Sincerely,
    Deathwolf Tasagka


  • pugsnsmiles
    August 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    aww! its soo coo. I like the part where its like, are love is dead MUWHAHAHA! its like evil, but it relaxed me....*cough cough* (says something) Anyway....uhm, good.
    Luff Ya!
    Josie


  • aanika
    August 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    But you told me you loved me
    What happened to that
    Is there something I'm missing
    Or is our love just dead
    So why can't you answer?

    nice write
    good luck

  • She Stole My Voice
    August 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    "When I call you don't answer
    When I write you don't respond"

    there should be commas, like,
    "When I call, you don't answer
    When I write, you don't respond"

    "So why can't you answer" should have a question mark.

    "But then disapear as if they hadn't existed
    Almost like our love"
    -should be 'disappear'
    and I ADORE those lines the most.
    Thank you so much for entering and good luck :]


    -Rainbow.

  • She Stole My Voice
    August 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    http://girltripped.deviantart.com/art/Happening-Somewhere-Else-54141569

    Tell me when you're finish, so I can come back and comment.
    Good luck ♥

1 - 6 of 6