"These are Jean's jeans, i'll give you a twirl,"
the girl who wore the Calvin Kleins
joked to the boy as she gave him a whirl;
it's a subtle way to show off her legs.
Her hair whips away from her sunburnt face
as she savours the moment of being
'admired'; something not commonplace,
but these jeans have a flattering cut.
When she goes home she'll sneak them back
to her sister's wardrobe; where they belong,
back onto the already full rack,
it's so unfair; she's only got cords.
She regrets the bad pun but not the steal,
cause she's off to the movies friday night
with the boy who watched her dizzily reel
after her spin in Jean's new jeans.
Author notes
Option 2, jeans.
A contest entry
- Deux. by notorious.
546 points, ended August 27, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I hope I've got the apostrophe use right throughout, please correct me if I haven't!
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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The rhyming is mature and subtle, the tone amusing, even playful. There is introspection built within, an understanding of character, like:
"it's a subtle way to show off her legs."
The poem, like that line is indeed subtle. You are good. I don't say that like the kids her do, at the drop of a hat, and with little honesty, I'm fussy. You are good.
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hmm this is really intresting, great take on the prompt and good luck
Stephanie ♥ -
Calvien Klines=Calvin Kleins
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Knew i'd got something wrong, I should have gone upstairs to check on a pair...
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Fix ASAP please
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