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Unrequited

Missing image

Bonneted and plain of dress,

Eyes downcast in bashfulness,

Grey-clad, covered, meekly gloved,

Quaker maiden, thee is loved…

 

Philadelphia hears thy vow,

Witnesses thy marriage now,

Sees thee, modest Quaker bride,

And the man, proud by thy side,

 

But sees not these brimming eyes,

And hears not the stifled sighs

Of one here in masquerade.

… thee is loved, dear Quaker maid.

 

 

Author notes

Friend, thee left one or two pronouns to play with, and so the Lord opened a way to use them.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • Ellis gold member
    July 13

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    Most Excellent

    I was led here by Amera. I like rhyming poetry. I have been where he with brimming eyes was here.


  • Exit-Stage-Right
    September 15, 2008

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    Ahem!!!

    Now I know where the rhyme “Mairi, Mairi quite contrary” came from! I list 400 pronouns that I don’t want to see, so you find two or three others to taunt me with. How disobedient you are! Why, if I was your Mistress I’d, I’d………well……you know.

    The poem, of course, is as fine as they come… no argument there, but insubordination can not be tolerated!

    So… how do I punish my talented little poetess?

    I’ll have to get back to you. For the time being you’re confined to the A.P. brig for three days on rations of bread and water! (You may have a pencil and paper.)


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      September 15, 2008
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      Disobedient? How? I wrote perfectly within the rules, as you cannot gainsay!

      Oh but you found the perfect punishment, Jim - you didn't even let it close to the podium, and gave the gold thingie to someone to whom I wouldn't give the steam off my porridge!


  • Tirrell
    August 26, 2008

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    This is a beautiful poem, I am quite glad I clicked in to read it. it is powerfully moving.


  • PerVirtuous
    August 25, 2008
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    I'm not going to dance about it like my Queen, but this is definitely worthy of three bunnies!

    • Mairi bheag gold member
      August 26, 2008

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      I shall make a Davey Crockett hat out of them. Thank you, Allan - no need to dance - I appreciate your comment.


  • Amera gold member
    August 25, 2008

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    We’ve often heard that poetry is subjective and this poem is exactly that to me. I think it’s my favorite poem of all the ones I have read from your pen. I don’t even know why but I just love it. I’m keeping it in my bookmarks. There aren’t enough superlatives to tell you just how good I think this is.

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • Dalaney gold member
    August 23, 2008
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    thee is loved...

    Love, Lane
    xxoo


  • just mercedes gold member
    August 23, 2008

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    Love It!

    Subversion - and a pretty poem - unique voice you have, the iron and velvet is a winning combination.


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      August 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Dagnabbit!

      Why does every mention "winning"? I am sure to come a poor fifth now!

  • Valkyrie
    August 23, 2008

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    Ha, a great poem, and a great dance with the rules. That's got some good imagery in it as well. Very pretty.


  • cricketjeff gold member
    August 23, 2008

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    I knew you'd have to do it

    I always love seeing rules subverted, great stuff!!!

    And not bad too.

  • Exit-Stage-Right
    August 23, 2008
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    I'm guessing:

    "Of one here in masquerade.
    … thee is loved, dear Quaker maid."

    ought to be:

    Of one here in masquerade.
    … thou art loved, dear Quaker maid.

    • Mairi bheag gold member
      August 23, 2008
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      Funnily enough no. A dialect of singular speech grew up in the US which diverged from the Biblical, or from the dialects in England. An old-time Pennsylvanian Quaker would say "thee is", "thee does", "thee says", and not "thou art", "thou dost", "thou sayest".

      • Exit-Stage-Right
        August 23, 2008
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        I'm guessing I should mind my own business and not make people blow their anonymity! I knew the Quakers should be suspect... after all, they're the ones that pawned oatmeal off on the rest of us... blech-o!

        • Mairi bheag gold member
          August 23, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          Nope, that was some capitalist who didn't give a damn who he insulted. He was going to call them "Catholic Oats", but instead decided to name them after someone who wouldn't fight back. You have no idea how close the world came to having "Amish Oats"!

1 - 21 of 21