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Bedtime Story [gold]

Missing image
We fell in love for a moment,
only to forget each other within
the space of a heartbeat.    

Two strangers tucking into one another,
inventing a bedtime story, without the moral.

I knew there could be no happy ending
when there was no real beginning...
Only a life-raft waiting in a sea of skin
pitching into storms of carnal furies-

I would swim through those moments
without stopping to breathe;
trying to reach some arcane destiny
before darkness peeled back it's layers

and proved to me...  I was still exactly
                            what I didn't want to be --









Author notes

STILL LONELY and... "WAITING" ~ Image Prompt ~ Artist Credit: Katarina Sokolova ~ 18 Line Limit ~ [Lines = 15]

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • penman gold member
    January 14
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Such an amazing write. And so deserving of the gold. Congratulations.


  • HomeGrown
    December 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I am so very glad that this was in Jins list. I've never seen so clearly into a one night stand before, and the eloquence with which it comes together is amazing. The imagery is stunning, if not in fact down right shocking. Lovely, write, and thanks for the read.

    HG


  • Balldinger silver member
    September 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh, yeah - perfect pitch, Ithica. made of steel and hand-sanded for just the right finish. a moon splatter away from a solar tooth.


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    August 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Hard hitting and raw. I can surely see why Gold adorns this beauty. Well done. ~Pamela


  • Blue Rew silver member
    August 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow...
    the execution here is raw and intimate.
    Outstanding is right, you voice a self-
    realization that cuts through to bare skin.
    Just excellent. Blue


  • Swan song gold member
    August 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You have definietely arrived as a poet that is clear!!!!
    This was an outstanding peice of work here


  • moluv10
    August 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is great!! I love your take on the picture. Your words really bring it to life. Congrats on the gold!!


  • JinSays gold member
    August 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    WOW!

    LOL, this is fantastic, truly. Every word,  emotion, thought, deed. 

    EXCELLENT, thank you for taking the picture where I saw the picture. I didn't think she was trashy persay, just lost.

    I felt awful for her, and wanted to tell her he (whoever he was), wasn't worth whatever she was feeling. Of course I attempted to write for it too, and was completely stuck. Now I'm glad I did use it for a contest, this poem is spectacular. Thank you for entering, and best wishes.

    jin


  • Mallig gold member
    August 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oh my... this is so raw, full of hard reality. Excellent!


  • Paladin Warrior
    August 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    As I

    peeled back layers I know I founds thing I didnt like of myself...........joe

1 - 10 of 10