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Dissent Within the Airwaves

I can hear him thinking
across the line, the
gears are turning, and
I want to know what's
going on inside his head.

I cracked like welltapped
china after the apologising
began and ended his misery
nevermind my own, because
He matters, he matters.

You stick with her out of
some white knight sense
of duty to the promises you made
but do you really love her, do you
really love her like you should?

Fade to black before you come back,
Forgiving is easy but the harder of the
two, can you forget the way you don't
know if the choices made were the right
ones? I can't forget you.

Author notes

Notes: Yes, there are 3 people mentioned in this poem. Me, him, and her.

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • solaris
    August 24, 2008

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    I love this, and I am impressed by the maturity of it. The first stanza is flawless in my mind - the abruptness of the line changes helps to add to the jaggedness and illogicalness (did I just make up a word there?) of the situation at hand. I love the repetition of "He matters, he matters" - are you reminding yourself, him, or somebody else? Intriguing. "I can't forget you" in the last line, added in so suddenly, really throws the whole poem into perspective. It's as much about you as it is about him.

    Very well done. : )

    - Solaris


  • SomeGirlYouKnew
    August 23, 2008

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    i like this.
    its a little confusing with all the pronouns switching around: him, I, her, you... are there more than two people in this poem? im not sure.
    but i like this a lot.
    and i like the last paragraph.
    also. good use of metaphors.
    overall, well done.


  • sassykitty
    August 23, 2008

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    Woah, painfully and searingly honest write you have here and one that so many of us can clearly relate to. Great communication of feelings and emotion and I love the imagery and metaphor going on. Repetition of 'he matters, he matters' certainly works to emphasis how much he means - tell me about it. Mature and well crafted write, thanks for sharing.


  • Seven Kinky
    August 23, 2008

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    I hate that you have to go through this, hun. Maybe he'll drop the white knight act one of these days and do something that really makes HIM happy...as in be with the one person he can't seem to cut himself off from. Love you.


  • Bones
    August 23, 2008

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    i really like the openness of the writing, and i love the contrast between it andtheline "fade to black before you came back". you could be more creative with your words but there are points where it's really very good.

1 - 5 of 5