Light upon your face and in your presence;
Knowing your type the bubbly angel of sun;
Sitting on your stool of happiness;
Dont tame yourself around me for I need you;
Needing the light in your presence;
Always and forever, happiness and light....
Author notes
I hope this poem is liked! its hard doing just 40 words!!!!!!!!!
A contest entry
- From Beginning and , At the End, ll by LadyLavender.
900 points, ended August 25, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?????
Comments
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Ok, let me be super honest. I really love this write, the imagery is gorgeous and your metaphors, unique.
The only thing that I felt differently about is the second stanza second sentence. I wished that you would of used another word besides light. I preferred it only in the beginning and end.
truly this poem is befitting of a prize...what i don'tknow yet. But, I love it. Light bounced right of the page when I first read it.
Goodluck and thank you for entering.
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