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Kaiser Lemon

Tranquil-sour aperture
pinged sequester's sequins.

Dull and underexposed, her
sovereignty spilled Mellow Yellow,
tithed alabaster curves in

micturition.

Lemon drops never felt so tasty-
loyalists to the end,
again and again.

Author notes

20 to 40 words

Prompt # 2:

"Imagined the future,
woke up with a scream.
I was buying some feelings
from a vending machine."

- The Verve

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    August 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Made me feel you got the lemon drops and the Mellow Yellow from the vending machine and of course those are metaphors!!

    You always pen such fascinating stuff that makes me pause and think (my poor blonde head )

    Micturition goes well with the spilling of the mellow yellow... urine? lol

    Cool take!


    • Solo Wisp gold member
      August 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      *nods* I spelled mello yello incorrectly though ...


  • Poetic Tasha Moderators member
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    well done but wtf, do you always do that??? pick a title before the prompts and then make still make it work? crazyness! lol but cool

    great write, i love the camera speak...

    Tasha


    • Solo Wisp gold member
      August 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I've been doing the title thing for quite a while ... sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. heheheh It forces my imagination to think out of the box more.


  • PerfectImperfection
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You are such a clever weaver of imagery to thought!!! There is so much depth to provoke the mind throughout - even quite a few mind-boggling words to make me read again and again...

    "Tranquil-sour aperture
    pinged sequester's sequins."

    .. what an opening here hun, incredible presence ..

    Excellent pen you have there!


  • Age of Rain
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is sooo WEIRD! In a positively AMAZING way of course. I couldn't help but giggle at the tongue twisting formula you concocted her. Nice!


  • fairytalelovestory
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow what a take on the prompt love it....


  • KayJay
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful images and a tasty approach... beautifully penned. Best of luck...
    Ken


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this next part of this statement maybe embarrassing to me
    I can't believe I'm going to tell you this.. Mellow Yellow that was the song that pinned to me in 8th grade... lol

    excellent poem... I always love your poems no matter how many words I need to look up.. I look them up for you and my other brother... excellent..

    I think the pressure of being in over my head is going to cause me to slowly back out of the room.. and snag my poem as I walk by..

    good luck

    kat


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Nice.

    Mt. Dew is much better.

    Nice.(I know I said that twice.)


  • notorious gold member
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So you were gonna use your res. title up to this one.

    "Tranquil-sour aperture
    pinged sequester's sequins."
    I actually think the possessive form would be stronger if it was "sequestered sequins" but meh. I haven't been feeling possessive forms lately, with some exceptions.

    "Dull and underexposed, her
    sovereignty spilled Mellow Yellow,
    tithed alabaster curves in"
    Oh I love "Mellow Yellow". YUMMY

    "Lemon drops never felt so tasty-
    loyalists to the end,
    again and again."
    *raises eyebrow*
    Lemons are an awesome flavor.

    This was tasty.

    Good luck

  • notorious gold member
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Tell me when you're done


  • Stardust-luvr
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    best wishes my dear friend

  • Poetic Tasha Moderators member
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    kaiser is my dogs name

  • Age of Rain
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOON méringue pie!

    • Solo Wisp gold member
      August 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      yuuuuuuuuuuuuuum ... sugar, sugar, and more sugar ...

  • PerfectImperfection
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Good luck my dear



  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    good luck my dear CC-T

    miss you & love you

    kat

  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Good luck, person with finger on nose.

1 - 21 of 21