Color coded life,
Blue gets it up
Pink chills you out
White ones
take the pain away
real or imagined.
Live your life on your terms
on their chemicals.
The end of evolution…
in a pill.
Author notes
Prompt # 2:
"Imagined the future,
woke up with a scream.
I was buying some feelings
from a vending machine."
Credit: The Verve
Picture Credit: http://eyeh8art.deviantart.com/art/MAN-AGAINST-MACHINE-5381007
20 – 40 words (36 used)
A contest entry
- A Mango Smoothie Quickie.... by kiwigirljacks.
600 points, ended August 23, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Comments Always Welcome but I Won't Turn Down Fluffy One's Either :D
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Ah yes, very clever. Fantastic choice of title too. Well done.
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woohoo!
take me for a spin.
This Poem is just out of this world!
fun to think about.
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lol....weird. but cool
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wow what a thrill to take a pill and then if its a downer look out,what a contest to succeed in winning
congrats
Linda
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Great imagery here, short, sweet and to the point.
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Now I was wondering if that wasn't what you were getting at... describing pills and what they do to you. Good job.
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A very clever take on the chosen prompt. A unique depth to the meaning one can find within the sing. Well composed.
"Live your life on your terms
on their chemicals.
The end of evolution…
in a pill."
I especially enjoyed those lines, so sad but true. Best wishes in the contest!
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This is quite a take
and some pills
hide the feelings
while others brings it out
great take on the prompt
Joann
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Cool!! Definitely captures that prompt in an excellent way! I think we are becoming that kind of society aren't we? I wish I myself wasn't so reliant on the pills!!!
Love it!
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wow. dystopia much? Still so true nowadays. Makes me wonder if the world really is ending in just four short years. Excellent write.
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very well done take on the prompt, i like where you took this, best of luck!
Tasha
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Oh my God...I thought you were talking about The Matrix at some point.
"Color coded life,"
Apart from being really cool...that's just cool.
I think you use a hyphen in between 'color' & 'coded'.
"Pink chills you out"<--makes me think of LadyDementia LoL!!
"White ones
take the pain away
real or imagined."<--I think Jacks has some white pills.
Cool.
"The end of evolution…
in a pill."
Well, if you say so...'evolution' is a groovy word, but to be "in a pill", makes it sound a lot more insignificant.
Tres interestante.
Good luck
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very creative. good luck. you did a really good job with the prompt.
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This is creatively colorful .. emotions seem to follow certain colors rather well ... but obviously, the pill color is used throughout the poem ...
Creatively done.
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Oh I like it a lot. It reminds me of an MCR song. lol
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WOW! this is definitely deep & thought provoking.. nothing like it just smacking you right in the face right off the bat. I really really love this poem.
I love where you took the prompt.
good luck in the contest my lover
kat
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good luck
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Good luck.
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hey.. what's up??
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The sky, taxes, inflation, the cost of living, and the infant mortality rate.
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really the sky is up?? ohh wait wrong story.. I was thinking about some story I heard as a kid.. something about chicken little and how the sky is falling...I wish the others were falling as well
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Thank you, sir... and my best wishes for your success as well
Ken
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Okay, but share.
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I always share...
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Sharing is communism. w00t!
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I like you
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