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Anomaly

Phantom lobotomy
took who I ought to be
along with bizarre brainstorms
for which I was known so well

Now I watch mundane existence swell
to supply some kind of ordinary hell

And paradox is how
I possess these thoughts  
 
 

Author notes

Prompt # 2:
"Imagined the future,
woke up with a scream.
I was buying some feelings
from a vending machine."

- The Verve

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • luna-midnight gold member
    August 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is awesome, i love the opening stanza
    congrats on the hm and take care
    Stephanie ♥


  • Age of Rain
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Did anyone else pick the pic? Hahah. I loved the matrix like feel you brought to the quote. Your ending was absolutely *clears throat* BRILL!


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well that's just spooky!! I was just talking about 'paradox' with someone!!!

    "Phantom lobotomy".. suitably mysterious as to make me wonder what caused it!

    "Ordinary hell" .. I think we all feel trapped in that!

    And then yes, the paradox is we still have the thoughts that surely should have gone with the phantom lobotomy?

    Fab take!


  • PerfectImperfection
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Such a unique piece!! I was surprised to see a few of my words lol, brainwaves must have leaked! Very nice use of imagery to go along with the lyric prompt. Nicely penned!

    "Phantom lobotomy
    took who I ought to be"

    .. wow that really stuck out, great depth ..

    Great write!


  • Poetic Tasha Moderators member
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    interesting lol -
    funny to see ppl with the same prompt and diff views, very cool

    Tasha


  • sailor ptolema
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ordinary hell is listening to the people in the apartment above you slam drawers ALL DAY LONG!

    Oh, right. Your poem, it's great. Like a deep thought massage .


  • fairytalelovestory
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i really like what you did with the prompt. good luck.


  • Solo Wisp gold member
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yes .. intriguing ... perhaps the thoughts possess you? hmmmm ... Like what you did here ..


  • KayJay
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful write, Mark... I see we took similar approaches ... Too bad yours is so much better
    Ken


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I so love the first line the BEST.. you used my favorite word of all time.. YEAH!!!! can you guess what it is???

    seriously I really do love this poem so much. brings a big smile to my face.. Excellent job with the prompt

    good luck

    kat


  • notorious gold member
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I chose that prompt too.
    Great song lyrics, methinks.

    "Phantom lobotomy"
    HOLY SHIT. Love both these 2 words...awesome phrase.

    "took who I ought to be
    along with bizarre brainstorms
    for which I was known so well"<--love that line

    "to supply some kind of ordinary hell"
    LoL at your rhyme...and ordinary hell=life

    "And paradox is how
    I possess these thoughts"
    Life is a paradox in itself. You live to die.
    Great ending lines.

    I can see a GOLD coming your way!!!!


    Jessica

  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    good luck brother...


    kat

  • Solo Wisp gold member
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Best of luck to you ... but, is the finger on my nose?! Hmmmmm ...

  • PerfectImperfection
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply


  • sailor ptolema
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    yesssssss! Depeche Mode!

    (almost as good as rocket boom )

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