A songbird with a broken wing
So delicate and colorful
On fallen perch will sweetly sing
Sad songs intensely personal
So delicate and colorful
Fate’s harshest edicts gamely kept
Sad songs intensely personal
Sorrowful joy is bravely wept
Fate’s harshest edicts gamely kept
Time's hurried passing is dismissed
Sorrowful joy is bravely wept
Grieving, rejoicing, "I exist!"
Time's hurried passing is dismissed
My friend performing dutifully
Grieving, rejoicing, "I exist!"
Life's acrid lesson soothing me
My friend performing dutifully
On fallen perch will sweetly sing
Life's acrid lesson soothing me
A songbird with a broken wing
Author notes
Pantoum
For Sue Cardwell
In a list
A contest entry
- For Sue! by Jade Jefferies.
1450 points, ended August 23, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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a truly beautiful tribute to your friend susan ...
graceful and touching metaphor and imagery used here ...
maa
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thoughtful... ttm... ♫
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Yes you are portraying this life with your thoughful poetry...I love it..well done..and my thanks for sharing it...
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I am impressed!
What a sweet, touching poem this is. That fact that it is done in perfect pantoum form just adds to my pleasure in reading it. This is a delight.
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Stunning... that's all that needs to be said really!!
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I don't know how you do it, but you do, time and time again. I want to try this on my own...this form. You are a beautiful writer. Love, Lane
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What a wonderful Pantoum!
I love it like I love most of your lyrical poems, Allan. Well done on this one, with its sorrowful joy! Sue must be so happy to have a poem written for her with such a timeless quality to it.
You are a loyal friend, and put much passion in friendship.
Love
Always Myra
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A lovely pantoum (did I really type that?) and in the classical eight syllable form used where it originates (assuming dutifully is dutif'ly for you which seems reasonable) that does a very good job of reflecting Sue!
Great stuff
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dutifully adv. <'dütif&llE>
Yes, it can be pronounced correctly either as a 3 or 4 syl word.
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Thank you for this beautiful Pantoum. It has stunning imagery and is very sad, but then I guess you know me
Congratulations on the HM, I wish it could have been more and a big thanks to Jade for running the contest to cheer me up and it has.
Love
Sue
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oh wow how beautiful this is good luck with your contest.
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Bird's and singing and hidden spiritual
meanings, I loved it, Master of poetry.
Bravo, Bell
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This is beautiful and sings just like a song bird. The Pantoum is such a lovely poetic form when composed well as this one is. I think Sue will love it. She loves sad poetry.
Love,
Amera♥
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