tombstones rise up
in an emerald field
slick stone monoliths
for the rich and well heeled
the bigger the slabs
the more important the stiff
heirs money is wasted
for a modern petroglyph
like uneven teeth jutting
from out of earths jaw
forms a smile quite sinister
leaving nerves thin and raw
you’d better stay away
after dark, don’t come alone
you might be frightened to death
and get a stone of all your own
Author notes
Haiku-bless-you
Photo credit: unknown
A contest entry
- Make fun of graveyards by michael thomas.
360 points, ended August 23, 2008, 4 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - DO I KNOW YOU??? IF NOT, SHOULD I??? by delightfulmess.
600 points, ended September 19, 2008, 30 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Not only that:
You have to be well heeled
to be well healed.
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Oh this is wonderful!
Thanks for the much needed refreshing giggle.
Well done and thank you for entering my contest.
Delila -
HOOD-WINK!!!
LOL love the humor in this poem and you're so right.
Thanks for taking care of the Bandits like you do.
~Titia~
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Hood-winked! :)
An interesting poem most definitely! I like the last stanza best, with a humorous tough but still kind of scary...
Thanks for sharing!
Keep on writing!
Annie
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Hoodwinked
Love it! The last stanza is my favorite! Great job!
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Hoodwinked!
Very funny and well composed. Should "raise" be "rise"?
Stanza 2 is the funniest, stanza 3 love the metaphor, The ultimate threat saved for the end. -
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Thank you for your comment and sharp eye, I do like rise better than raise, so I changed it! Thanks again.
Dennis
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HOODWINKED!!!
this is incredible! i thought it was going to be spooky or sad but i was laughing by the end! thank you for sharing this captivating read. you are very talented. keep writing poet! God bless you always
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Debi, Thanks for your kind words, it is appreciated.
Dennis
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Hood-wink!
I wasn't expecting that. I was expecting some sad tribute, but I started laughing by the time I'd reached the end. Definite enjoyable to read. Nice work.
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I'm glad you enjoyed this write, it was fun to write!
Dennis
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Hood-Wink!!!
well done, I really like the bigger slabs bigger stiffs part it made me laugh out loud! Thank you for bringing some comedy to my tragic day...
Darkness Shrouds My Stars.
DW
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Sorry to hear of of your bad day, I hope things get better for you my friend. Thanks for the comment, you've helped make my day.
Dennis
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Hood-Wink!
I was not sure what to expect from the title...though when I read this, I was overtaken by amusment, I can always trust you to make me break out in laughter
An absolute brilliant piece of visual imagery...most poems about graveyards are usually dark, with much the sameness...yours has a creepy but lighthearted and playful theme, I loved the lines about the headstones being like uneven teeth from earth's jaw, those two lines will always stay with me hehe!
Over all impression: Love the humour, good flow, well thoughtout, engaging, great finish and a delight to read
You have been Ambushed by a fellow bandit
Love and smiles...~Lilac
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You always find a way to say the nicest things,
Thank you for the kind and most generous comment.
Dennis
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Hood-Wink!
I enjoy graveyards and the stones; I laughed out loud about the bigger the slabs the more important the stiff part
So true!
Congrats on the HM
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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Manda, Even though the rich may get a larger headstone, death is the common denominator among us all. Live, laugh and love...don't forget to do all three! Thanks for your thoughtful comment.
Dennis
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Love this one, especially the first stanza describing the tombstone and the last one trying to intimidate the reader of going out at night. Makes it quite creepy and all the more enjoyable Very well done!
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Nicely described "slick stone monoliths for the rich and well heeled." Delightful "the bigger the slabs, the more important the stiff."
Very good similie "like uneven teeth jutting from out of earth's jaw."
Humorous conclusion, with the upside (or downside) of getting "a stone of your own!"
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Admiring the teeth and earth's jaw. Very cool lines.
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excellent.
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i too loved the ending you it a great job with the picture and words.I do not know what I would of wrote to this picture. Hope you are doing well
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delightful. you have made fun of the scene and the stones. I love your ending and I thank you for a cute look at graveyards.
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I love the second stanza! It is hilarious and so wonderfully done the whole poem has a kind of tongue-in-cheek feel to it - it works really well and I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
Keep writing
Polly
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