-The Line Between Us- (prose)Rgh Draft

theres this line,
i just don't want to have, to tell you about it, i just want you to know it. But as my friend, my best friend, my sister i expect you to see it and not be insulted or want more and cross it. Its a trust i gave when we became  just friends. Theres  a distance i just want you to know, its the distance between the closest sisters, and  the most bonded kin. Once its crossed, the ice breaks, and there is no going back. By loving me like that you break everything we could have been. You called me up, and wanted me to guess, to guess what you wanted to ask. You gave all possible hints so obvious was the answer , but i trusted you to the point  that i denied the thought that you would  do anything to break us.  You asked me for my heart in marriage, knowing full well it belonged and always will in another's hands, knowing fully  that i was not and would not be your lover.  You asked me. And after time and time again i tried to reestablish  that line that boundary so we wouldn't lose such a friendship. And you asked me AGAIN, for my heart. I wanted deny it all just so we wouldn't loose us. but you cornered me so innocently cruel, so selfishly honest, and asked me AGAIN and I had to  AGAIN shoot you down only this time i aimed for complete murder and with no pillow to soften your fall. This time you taught me that we will never be anything ever again. It hurt, so, so very much, but its not me that you hurt the  most, you hurt us to the point of our relationship's suicide, and it was I who made the final plunge. Its that last moment, when i feel you fall, that moment that i just  wish your heart listened and respected that line so i just could pick you up  dust you off let you cry and just go get a bit to eat and sip to drink. Its that moment, i realize what we both lost, and that last goodbye to everything that was.I realize just how permanent we never were.