as a flight of song that will never end
closes its tones in an air of the day
and I would be remembered by the wind
afar beyond sight, beyond the bend
the dim edges of light turn away
as a flight of song that will never end
like hushed clouds, bold truths ascend
rising to skies amid a gentle sway
and I would be remembered by the wind
by the summer and autumn's sound
safe in the colors that breezes portray
as a flight of song that will never end
replied when darken thunderbolts attend
a presence of echoes the mountains play
and I would be remembered by the wind
beyond where light and darkness blend
as shades and senses must all give way
as a flight of song that will never end
and I would be remembered by the wind
Author notes
JUDGE'S ENTRY
In a list
A contest entry
- Villanelle with Meaning by Peteskid.
2250 points, ended September 3, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I love the titling...
the subtle suggestion of light and sound.
You bring much meaning, tucking it between
the lines to be found and interpreted by
each individual as the theme is universal.
I did question the varying syllable counts~as even
though the Villanelle form does not state a specific syllable count; it does require that once the count is set in the first line by the poet, it must remain consistent throughout. Blue
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ahh thank you Blue...
I could not disagree more with the idea of a set meter, I think it is simply more or less pleasing to someone's tastes. I think the fixed or rigid meter would almost be a different form, or variation.
I was hopeful you would see this and comment, i think meter does vary here a lot; and so i wondered how it would affect readers who have a keen ear for meter...thank you so much for your comment; so helpful ... we should talk more about this...thanks for all...PK
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Outstanding, I love the idea of a casting a "wind shadow", having the solidity and presence that will be a remembered. The couplet is just beautiful.
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This is so very good!
Loved the meaning and the way how you show your thoughts here. well done!
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these end words and defintions seem sharper:
end = closes/ sound= safe/ bend= dim edges and turn away... so these are sharply defined special lines and when read aloud give a logical refrain to the preceding line...PK -
Excellent! I love this villanelle, it has that lonely mystique that draws me. So perfect with the background.
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Well, I see you favor Villanelles when it comes to form poetry. Though you also show a knack for haikus. I've written three or four of these poems. You're a better man than me.
Takes more discipline than I have. LOL Write on, bro.
Dez
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no actually someone on AP told me i couldn't write them... so had to find out if it were true...
...PK
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