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In Poetry

Missing image

in poetry

we have the ability
to be the lovers
we never were
or never had the chance
to be -

we snap our fingers
with a bit of ink,
stars explode
and the moon appears
pale pink

song birds sing
when our lips meet

 

blood turns to fire.


We become
waterfalls and waves,
the wind
that bends trees
and moves mountains -

our bodies,
in the throes of poetry,
transform into lyrics
written by the gods

we thirst passionately

 

pound our desire
ferociously

into golden skin

 

we are beautiful
beyond anyone’s imagination

in poetry...

Author notes

Prompt: Image fineartamerica.com/images-medium/

In a list

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 40 of 40

  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    September 20, 2008

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    Yes, yes, in poetry. This is quite lovely. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.

    ♥
    whisper


  • deercatcher
    September 19, 2008

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    What an excellent job hanging words on the seduction of the pleasure of a site full of poets writing poetry for other poets for the shear pleasure of poetry. It is a refined stimulant, not diluted by faux paus, fatigue, body odor, selfishness- all those things that corrode the relationships we need to work so hard to maintain for a serious length of time.


  • Sesheta
    September 8, 2008

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    I love how you explore the magic that is poetry in a poem! Such truth, with such beautiful examples! Absolutely fantastic!


  • onesugar gold member
    September 2, 2008

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    In poetry we can be many things..How when in love we can become so many different things, how it can change us.
    Well expressed and a pleasure
    Thank you for entering and good luck
    ~sugar~


  • nevadapoet
    September 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This brought tears to my eyes...yes we are all those marvelous things, when we write. This is beautiful and I think my new favorite read. Thank you for expressing what we all would have, had we had the foresight.

    Nevadapoet


  • dame de la riviere
    August 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A lovely poem and grand idea. Very nicely put.


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    August 28, 2008

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    So true, even if in life we are just ordinary we have the ability to be extraordinary. Beautiful thought process in this one. Best to you

  • SallyStitch
    August 27, 2008

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    Both beautiful and cathartically sad. I loved the way you imply that love isnt really the beauty the naive think by using such beautiful language.


  • sonG fOr a frienD
    August 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I absolutely adore this poem.


  • HpWICKEDangel
    August 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i love how you took every thing. nature and the way we feel, imagination running ramped, and turned it so....
    the flow, the form.... it just all fits together. i love this and it is so good. thanks for sharing. and good luck in the contest.


  • apoeticinjustice gold member
    August 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I absolutely love this piece. Amazing!


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    August 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Indeed passion is seen through the heart of a poet...in this piece you speak much truth..we can be anything anyone we want to without prejudice.

    Then again i cant say that, i know a few guys who are anyhow this is a great piece. Thanks for sharing and best with it in the contest.

    Passions promise


  • HaleyMary
    August 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write, Lane and written with such truth. I think poetry can bring out the true beauty in people, their thoughts and their feelings. And, just all the things that can be imagined, as well. The possibilities are endless it seems. Thanks for sharing your talent and best of luck in the contest.


  • PerVirtuous
    August 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OK. I would love to believe your words. But, riddle me this: Why are most stories of poets tragedies? Because we can change everything to fit us in poetry? Whereas in the real world we have to change to adapt to it? So, if we immerse ourselves in poetry we don't have to change? We can stay our miserable selves forever? We can thumb our nose at the real world and do whatever because we don't have time to change because we are too busy being "beautiful" (according to Mairi) in poetry?


    Works for me!

    Good luck.


    Have three bunnies.


  • PoesyPeruser
    August 23, 2008

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    Exactly right! What a beautiful way to express it, the passion and reaching beyond the norm.
    Poesy


  • nordicsky silver member
    August 23, 2008

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    This is why I read and write poetry. Poetry transcends everyday reality and gives us joy, love, truth, and beauty.
    When you write poetry like this, you are beautiful beyond anyone’s imagination.

    Thanks for posting this,
    Love, Peter


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    August 23, 2008
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    Love that ... we snap our fingers with a bit of ink
    Good one, Lane.


  • arafura gold member
    August 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "our bodies,
    in the throes of poetry,
    transform into lyrics
    written by the gods"

    You speak the language of love fluently... BRAVO!

  • strangerforeigner
    August 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Sigh..simply lovely.


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    August 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    we have the ability
    to be the lovers
    we never were
    or never had the chance
    to be -

    we are beautiful
    beyond anyone’s imagination

    I shall probably tell you this story again, but I was once in a lesbian chat room, and someone asked as to say what we found sexiest in someone of our own gender. Intelligence... sense of humour... creativity... these were all things mentioned way at the top of everyone's list, even before anyone mentioned looks.

    For those - like yourself - who are truly creative, poetry is a way to BE beautiful beyond anyone's imagination. It is not a fantasy, because someone who can do what you do IS beautiful. Just ask anyone below.

    • PerVirtuous
      August 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Wow. Your experiences in lesbian chat rooms is much different than mine. I am very intelligent, creative, have a good sense of humor, and I wasn't on anybody's list at all. They didn't even want to talk to me.

      Funny how what looks like beauty and openmindedness to you can hurt my little feelings.

      They don't like me in the NAMBLA chat rooms either!


      • Mairi bheag gold member
        August 24, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        The right arrangement of chromosomes makes all the difference in the chat room, Allan!


  • Cup-a-Joe
    August 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    In poerty; Im making love on the beach, close your eyes.
    Joe


  • ten thousand cicadas gold member
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You rock, girl. This is gorgeous!

    I wonder how many of us write be cause we can go there, or go there because we can write?


  • sailor ptolema
    August 22, 2008

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    I read it three times over. Like I said before, you're the best.
    This is just.... magical. .

    ~Meg

    `


  • Pure Thought silver member
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    My Lady

    I can be accused of this. LOL Well said.


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like the intimacy of the thought you described here..it is true and a kind of revealation of the truth even..touching and moving as well...well saketched...

  • tara wilson gold member
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful


  • Riamh
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Quite simply, I loved it.
    Be well,
    Slayer


  • Peteskid gold member
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ...PK

  • mcfreeman
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    captured another

    butterfly of truth here...well done.


  • notorious
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I assume the 'in' in the beginning isn't capitalized because the end line isn't??

    "in poetry

    we have the ability
    to be the lovers
    we never were
    or never had the chance
    to be -"
    Okay all of that, is SO TRUE. Can you imagine saying that to somebody in real life? LoL...this is awesome.

    "we snap our fingers
    with a bit of ink,
    stars explode
    and the moon appears
    pale pink"
    Me LOVES your imagery...especially with the stars & the moon, which are often used in a romantic context, but you made it UNIQUE!!!

    "song birds sing
    when our lips meet

    blood turns to fire."
    'songbirds' is one word???
    The blood & fire thing is awesome.

    "We become <--but it looks like you use capitalizations here??
    waterfalls and waves,
    the wind
    that bends trees
    and moves mountains -"
    Bending trees! More ambitious than bending spoons in The Matrix.

    "our bodies,
    in the throes of poetry,
    transform into lyrics
    written by the gods

    we thirst passionately

    pound our desire
    ferociously

    into golden skin

    we are beautiful
    beyond anyone’s imagination

    in poetry..."
    "beyond anyone's imagination" I particularly LOVE that, & the rest of it has that non-cheesy-but-still-cheesy romantic feel only you can do this well.

    ,
    Jessica


  • cricketjeff gold member
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    In comments
    We can tell other poets
    all that we want to say
    that their poetry speaks to us
    changes our lives
    makes us see the world
    through other eyes
    in comments




  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful piece Lane and while I have on occasion ‘elaborated’ on a few of my sensual/romance pieces, the majority of them are based on 'real life experiences.'

    No, it doesn't hurt to throw a little fantasy into the poetry every now and then.


    All the best,
    with much love,
    mj.


  • Cannonsfire
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ...and in the hope that someone we truly desire gets to read the poems and falls under the hypnotic spell of words. Love, C


  • JohnnyD gold member
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    simply superb take on the prompt and the picture is fabulous;

    now to me personally:
    this stanza

    pound our desire
    ferociously

    into golden skin

    I might personally leave out one letter

    pound our desire
    ferociously

    into golden sin

    but then perhaps that is nothing more than
    a sampling of male mental deviancy?

    perhaps



  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Exquisitely versed dear poet ... just beautiful

    Love
    Sue

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