The setting was not glamorous,
neither romantic.
It was only Clover Grill,
hamburgers and Coca Cola;
the Bourbon
in silent glow:
twilight, the blues dancer,
on a lonely Friday night.
Is the ... entire world ... dying?
The words stumbling, hesitant, slow.
She was crying
when she asked this,
somewhat frantic.
Of course
he did not answer ...
struggling to pull the arrow
from his reluctant heart.
Author notes
Sometimes Cupid's arrows hurt ... in unexpected places.
In a list
A contest entry
- Write A poem about this picture I took.... words seem to fail me. by artis.
1000 points, ended September 4, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Perhaps you have captured that split second in time when she was leaving and all eyes were on her weary back as the door beckoned her flee.
love is a menu that doesn't always serve what you wish you could devour, it sometimes leaves a bad taste that lingers until life brings you another sumptous feast. Thanks for you entry~~Artis
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two parts I love in this poem sooo much, the metaphor/personification of twilight:
"twilight, the blues dancer,
on a lonely Friday night."
and the ending:
"struggling to pull the arrow
from his reluctant heart."
you have captured a scene in this poem like a movie...
well done, I feel the emotions of the characters clearly.
Why are we so scared & reluctant to love at times? ..even when we've been shot deep with an arrow...lol. I like this.
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Superb
Ah, 'tis so true. Very well written indeed. I quite like this one cause it brought back warm and fuzzy memories. Thanks for sharing. -
You have told a wonderful story to go with this picture. You have magical happenings taking place at the most mundane of venues. Wonderful thoughts.
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Cupid's arrow ahould be taken away from him. He has no bussiness sporting a dangerous weapon and him in diapers. hehe I loved this, it brought a smile to my face. The picture brings back wonderful memories
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Very well handled, Myra. Nice sense of atmosphere and emotional hiatus and the concluding lines are spot on.
Good one,
Bill
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I see loneliness and discontent, but it is well-written, and the closing lines well-placed for maximum effect.
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Nice job capturing discontent. I like the style and the diction. Peace
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