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The Devoid Site

She limped on silvery  ponds,
She drained her crispy feet,
Feeling the pain of barren scars sink in,
Washing over her like the darkness within.

Her frigid eyes whispered nothing but bareness,
Her lips parched and withered,
Her throat became like an empty bottle of spray
And her skin like coarse parchment,
Meticulously quenched by packets of shiny beads.

And there, resting upon a solid slippery rock,
She held a locket resting lonely around her neck,
Fought the hopeful tired tears that infinitesimally glittered her eyes,
And rain and tears joined hands among the smoky air
But nobody seemed to care.

She felt her heart run dry,
Her mind squiggle vapidly albeit the rain
And stars upon her sear wringed light across her,
Leaving her unnoticed like an empty space.

Hard-crusted men drizzled by
Their busy eyes concentrated upon things with worth.
Unintentionally skipped a spot on the way,
They just left, leaving her there,
Scurrying weakly forever…

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • MJ Forgives
    September 6

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    Wow your poem is very interesting. I hope you do well in my contest and thanks for entering.
    -Jess


  • Symphony
    April 28

    Edit | Reply
    WOW there was some AMAZING imagery in this one - it took my breath away.

    usually, i dislike such long poems but this was so .. emotional, and descriptive .. just .. excellent job,

    thanks for entering

  • starving-to-survive
    February 8

    Edit | Reply
    This is so sad. I am so sorry that you have to endure so much heartache and pain. Thank you so much for entering my contest, you have so much talent and your words are so powerful. The pain is so evident and full of emotion. Your imagery is perfect and so strong.
    Keep up the good work hun


  • sensualbutterfly
    October 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    amazing imagery used. Wonderfully written. Thank you for the entry


  • DramaQueen469 gold member
    October 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.

    Amazing imagery. Amazing structure. Fantastic marrative. Overall, extremely well done.

    Good luck!!


  • theredcatjazzoflove gold member
    October 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this was a very great poem here i think you really did a great job explaining the darkness of what many around the worlld go through good luck in the contest


  • x.WitherinGxRoseS.x
    September 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love this poem, the imagery is excpetional and it passes a strong message. I think most will agree with me when I say that once you read the poem, it manages to evoke a number of feelings. Excellent work =]


  • KyleBerg gold member
    September 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great work!
    An excellently told story with highly captivating imagery. This poem is really beautiful and unique


  • GypsyEyes
    September 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you have a great use of imagery! i truly enjoyed your piece! thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox


  • Silly Rabbit.
    September 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful... It is deeply moving that truly speaks from the heart. I love the use of imagery here and the separate world of the girl. Thank you so much for sharing and keep up the good work.

    [[♥]]


  • reckless abandon
    September 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This started off as a really strong poem, it wasn't quite as strong at the end but still well done. Thanks for entering and good luck.


  • Silent Emotions
    September 2, 2008

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    you really do have such a mature writing style, thats something ive been trying to work on forever and yet it seems to come so easily to you in your writing. this was just a delight to read. you paint such deep pictures within your work. wonderful!


  • nearlycivilized
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    your poem is pretty good. I would just watch your wording, like when you say "she drained her crispy feet", I feel drained isn't the appropriate word choice, but mostly, I don't understand how you can drain crispy feet. If your feet are crispy they are most likely already dry. Other than that though, your contrast is well done.

1 - 13 of 13