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Motion of Woman

Her breasts are rarely still

they rise and fall
like children playing leapfrog

slip into the coves of her armpits
at night when she sleeps


and hang like overripe fruit
above my mouth.

They swing in heavy seduction
under tee shirts

shadow dance with my hands
behind moon-laced curtains

and pillow the soft beat
of my heart

 

when the rain comes 

falling. 

 

 

 

Author notes

Dalaney

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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 35 of 35

  • CentrifugalCorpse
    June 12

    Edit | Reply
    Well-penned.
    You ended this piece very nicely & have great similes and personification.

    I just request you put your AP name in your author's notes.

    Thanks for sharing this poem & best of luck!


  • Sesheta
    September 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sensual indeed. I love those last four lines. And I see so vividly by your words...


  • nevadapoet
    September 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    What a classy and stylish write. Perfect!!!
    Nevadapoet


  • Longfella
    August 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this makes me think of a poem. I think I will call it sharing Sharon.


  • Aussie Gypsy gold member
    August 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You have class lady that is for sure, nobody could have put this together any better, without it becoming just an erotic poem. Well done and best to you


  • Ashbert
    August 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    wonderful

    The amount of class and beauty I thought radiated. It was a beautiful description of a woman, in a different light than is normally shown, which im sure is appreciated by women everywhere.


  • Rose Angel gold member
    August 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A womans view of herself here that makes it beautiful. Little attention is given to this characteristic of women
    but you have portrayed it with beautiful imagery, and genteel softness and sensuality...Powerful!


  • Margaret Denham gold member
    August 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful and so very sensual words. You describe breasts so well with natural images that could fit any woman.

    Love Margaret


  • nordicsky silver member
    August 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yep, I like breasts. Their shape, softness, and femininity are a constant source of wonder.
    This poem captures the beauty of breasts perfectly. I especially like the last four lines,

    “and pillow the soft beat
    of my heart
    when the rain comes
    falling.”

    This is such a good ending. Thanks for posting this,
    Love, Peter


  • sailor ptolema
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love how you make women classy and beautiful.
    Also, I agree with Mairi!

    ~Meg

    `


  • ariazephyrzoe gold member
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I'm lost for words to say...I just admire the beauty of this...and its subtle sensuality


  • Matt Holck
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    outdoors again?


  • tomisb
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply


  • Malabu
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    if i had boobies...i think i could not write a poem like this...lol...wait...i do...but they are firm...with a few hairs around them...and ummm small too...guess you can call me a tight body

    love the poem
    mal

    • Dalaney gold member
      August 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      mally, if you write a poem about your boobies, I promise I will drool. Lane


  • Thoughts-of-Soloman
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Delightful!

    Sol

  • mcfreeman
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    A woman knows...

  • strangerforeigner
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    mmmmm.....lovely.


  • Cup-a-Joe
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Damm It

    You write what I think. This is great boob poetry.
    Joe


  • Pure Thought silver member
    August 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    My Lady

    Sigh...


  • arafura gold member
    August 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    There's a slow, soft, sultry, sensuality to this... breasts that hang melon-heavy and ripe. Wonderful.


  • notorious gold member
    August 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    You are NAUGHTY.

    With that being said, well, you make boobs sound more than just human anatomy.

    Good lord, I probably shouldn't have read this.

    BUT, you managed to make it sensual without going all naughty-caughty-dirty-laundry-sleazy shit, and I'm not surprised.

    You pull poetry out of your ass so effortlessly...color me JEALOUS!!!

     

    "Her breasts are rarely still"
    Already this is sensual. Motion=sex? 


    "they rise and fall
    like children playing leap frog"

    This is SUCH a comical simile...I love it!

    It's almost innocent. :P

    'leapfrog' is actually one word though. Well, according to dictionary.com/ (I just checked now LMAO...I have no life?)

    Again, love the originality of your simile which has SO much fun in it. 


    "slip into the coves of her armpits
    at night when she sleeps"

    I read 'cover' instead of 'coves'...but 'coves'...well, I think I learned a new word today. Thanks Lane! :)

    This is seriously unique. 


    "and hang like overripe fruit
    above my mouth."

    :O LoL

    "They swing in heavy seduction
    under tee shirts"

    I guess T-shirts & "tee shirts" is the same thing.

    You're not beating around the bush when you say "heavy seduction". ;) 

     

    "shadow dance with my hands
    behind moon laced curtains"

    I think you could use a hyphen in between 'moon' & 'laced'. Maybe.

    Otherwise, I love the nature elements here. Makes it even groovier. 

     
    "and pillow the soft beat
    of my heart

     

    when the rain comes 

    falling."

    Love! The rain strikes me as slightly abstract & yet not.

     

    I'm not old enough to appreciate sensual/erotica

    but you did this AMAZINGLY.

     

    Good luck in the contest...as if you need it!!

     

    Jessica 

     


  • IronMaiden1236
    August 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    mmmmm

    stunning and sensual...leaves one warm...


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    August 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I would have found this anyway, kc.

    Now, if the subject and I could average our load out, we'd have two perfect busts!

    I don't think I have ever read such a tender, restrained, yet totally sensual description of full breasts in my life. The words "...slip into the coves of her armpits at night when she sleeps" make a truly beautiful description. I mean... did anyone down below notice there's a poem going on here?

    The whole is beautiful.



  • Dusty Rose
    August 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Gorgeous. This is truly a sensual piece of writing. It falls on the ears so softly like rain. Yet has the presence of thunder. Very nice. And thank you for entering.

    Dusty


  • marc creamore
    August 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Lanie . . . I may be aging, but I still have an abundance of hormones . . . Watcha trying to do, keep me awake all night lol . . . this is beautuful . . .

    Marc


    • Dalaney gold member
      August 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      lol...i am awake most nights, so join me Thank you, Marc, for your never ending support. I will be by your poetry tonight or tomorrow...I've missed reading it. Love, Lane


  • Cannonsfire
    August 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Yup this is sensual as only you can do it


    • Dalaney gold member
      August 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      you are soooo pretty! I love your avatar. Thank you, Cheryl, for all your kind words and the little yellow dudes Love, Lane


  • cricketjeff gold member
    August 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Now that will help me sleep

    Definitely!!!

    I love it

    • Dalaney gold member
      August 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      well, pooh, the poem isn't supposed to make you sleep! lol Love, Lane

1 - 35 of 35