It should be simple;
the maths is easy, a child could do it.
one plus one is two.
Simple.
But with us it's not simple.
It's more complex:
with us one plus one makes three.
She'll always be a miscalculation to us.
Or is it simple?
With you and her?
One plus one is two.
And then me?
A contest entry
- The 28 Ways by lowercase prelude.
700 points, ended August 26, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Not very good.
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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I like the ending
This poem is interesting and well thought. I enjoyed it. well done.
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An interesting piece of thought; being the third wheel in a two ring affair is more of what it makes me hink here. Nice metaphor. Good write!
["maths is easy" = math is or possibly even maths are if you want that plural there]
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Maths is a singular noun so it doesn't need are, it isn't a plural. English Spelling. THanks for commenting.
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Wow. So simple yet so effective. I really enjoyed reading this piece. Very well done and thanks for sharing.
Lauren
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I really enjoyed reading this. One plus one is such a simple concept, and this poem reflects that with the basic vocabulary and short lines.
Well penned.
♥ Jojo x sinnocence
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until now for me has always been 1+1=3
nice sense of humor and such a truth.
nice pen -
omg! I know how it feels. love should be made for two and yet a third always comes out shining.
Nicely done and great sense of humor btw
I don't like math and probably never will 
but nicely done!
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Such an amazing truth, when it comes to love, more often than never, there is always a faulty link, that just won't shake loose, causing a disruption in a relationship...beautiful writing, poet...
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Nice write!
I like this a lot. The way you phrased things, the viewpoint, it was all well-done. The little sentances and the way it was written remind me a lot of the way a friend of mine writes.
What's with the capatalization? I don't mean to sound mean here (I'm not trying to, I swear!) but you need to go through and fix some things- in the beginning, you have "One plus One is Two," but in the end, you have "One plus one is two." I'm not sure which of these was intended, though I would assume the first, because that's what you started out with... personally I just wouldn't capatalize the numbers at all.
I'm not sure if it's supposed to be "maths" or "math;" depending on what country you live in, it could be either, although if you use "maths," I think it would fit better as "maths are?" Then again, I'm American, and never use the plural, so if it is correct to say "maths is," forgive my ignorance.
Not every beginning line needs to be capatilized. For example, you could do something like
"It should be simple:
the math is easy; a child could do it.
One plus one is two."
If you capatalize only some lines, it lends them to read a bit more importantly, as well as a more modern feel to it.
Another suggestion would be to branch out into other punctuation marks like I showed above; commas and periods aren't the only ones that can be used, however.
But I do like the way you phrased things, I like the way it's a complex subject and yet portrayed so simply here, with the line length; and I love the title. It fits perfectly.
Just a note- that was a really really long comment... those were just my personal notes, how I would write it, but it's your poem. You can throw all this out as crap if you want to, and I won't be offended. (:
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Thanks for taking the time to comment such a long comment.I know what you mean about the capitals, my fingers just move accross the keyboard and I've no idea what they write. I've got some kind of obbsession with capitals, it annoys my mates. But the maths thing, you're wrong, don't mean to sound mean, but Maths is a Singular Noun so ending in a s or not it would still be is like you don't say Chess are easy or whatever.
I have to say, the title was the promt in the competition I entered so I have no credit for that.
Thanks for taking your time. (:
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Oh, okay, I get it. I just didn't know if they used maths as a singular or plural... in the US we just say math (:
And no problem, it's some really well-laid out thoughts! -
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Thanks. (:
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Short & Sweet
So simple, yet so difficult for one to face up to.
Two's company, and three's a crowd. Nice work, thanks for sharing. Tws...
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Your simple phrasing was particularly delightful when the ending culminated as it did. Though there was no imagery or deep metaphor, this was brilliant, and thought you should know that!
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I like it. Such a different style, but it has merit. Very clever.
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oh how wrong you are... I like this very much! How you used math to get your point across. Very creative. And so very true. I think you did very well when you wrote this. Don't ever put this down cuz it is worthy of you. I really do like it. You are a very talented writer. Thanks for sharing this wonderful work
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I think it's awesome that a poem written for my contest got spotlighted by "Today's Poem".
It deserves it. This is a wonderful poem.
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Very creative and interesting
work here. Well done and thanks
for sharing it with all of us here!
Jeremy0826 -
Wow. That was absolutely amazing. You did a great job on this. Seriously. You're only 14? This seems...older. Wow.
Write on!!
~*~SP~*~
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What a unique take on the prompt
this was great
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