I'm lost in your sweetness
I think it's slowly showing my weakness
I have fallen in love
I don't think I can get enough
and you hold me in your arms
I think you have touched my heart
with pressed lips
and your arms around my hips
baby I love you
the sky is no longer blue
I think I'm finally at ease
I can finally feel that breeze
Author notes
bleh
rhyme
i tried
i think its bad
but i hope you like it
i made it for you
A contest entry
- My Very First Contest! yay! enter NOW quick !!!! haha by Nostalgic Moon.
525 points, ended September 1, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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This is adorably sweet. && Majorly lovely.
Whoever you wrote this for is one lucky person.
Nice write. I suggest you fix the capitalization. But, again, that's just me.
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cute, sweet .
sp;
I can fianlly feel that breeze
finally*
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i should fix that
you arent the first to tell me
hahah
=P
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An awesome muse here
I loved the way you penned this poem its depth is unold for many yet it brings out the promise of days so many hope for and the knowledge it does come true in time
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thank you so much!!!
im glad you like it
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Lol. I'm not really good at rhyme either. But who cares! as long as you get your point across it should rhyme and not rhyme lol. You did a wonderful job though it flowed flawlessly! A very sweet and heartfelt piece.. Thank smuch for sharing!! best of luck!
Angel
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thank you
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wow i actually like the rhyme!
usually i dont so wow.
i lovelovelove the first stanza & the rest too
but the first stanza really stood out.
this is such a sweet poem it made me all happy inside
and i really need that atm cause ive been very sad today :S
the title didnt really stick out to me though..it just seemed blah compared to the poem
i like this allllot
much luck in the contest <33 -
Yay!
i love this baby
its amazing
I have fallen in love
I don't think I can get enough
=D
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yay
hahah
i dont think
[but it rhymes!!!]
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yay! i love it. and the rhymes that you used dont sound forced at all and thats great
good luck!
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