Critique

First off, let me start by saying that you've written something that is right in my wheelhouse. I'm a huge fan of fantasy writes.

Negatives:

- Calling the first section a prologue is fine, but it's much too long. I think you could shorten this considerably. As a previous poster suggested, giving us less of Cho, and taking out the last part with the woman would make a huge difference. I think I would do less interaction between Cho and Lichi in this initial scene, maybe have the only words spoken between them being Lichi's laughter and Cho's "Goodbye, friend". Whack, next scene.

- As another critic mentioned, ditch the contractions unless they're part of someone's conversation.

- In the seventh stanza, it seems too wordy. "The castle courtyard was busier than he’d ever seen it, packed with what was probably every man, woman and child, elf, human or otherwise that lived in the city and surrounding countryside." This line could easily be broken into two sentences. I'm not too fond of the sentences that follow it, either. I know you're trying to describe the scene, but sometimes, less is more.

- In stanzas 11 & 13, I think this can be chopped as per the "less Cho" edit. Reveal the Cho story later, and the reader will tie back to this and be able to fill in exactly how he was feeling. Again, I think less is more here.

- More Adelaide! You described Lichi seeing her for the first time, and then jumped to a year later. How did they meet? Wasn't she put off by him being a half-elf?

- More about Lichi's dancing lessons. I really liked that setup, but again, you skipped a whole year. Who's Natalia? What happened to fufu-prince-dude? Another point on this: I think the father gives in too easily on the dancing lessons.

- Seriously, one stab wound and Lichi goes down? I know he's a kid, but you'd think adrenaline would kick in and he'd put up some kind of a fight. He's a half-elf, ridiculed for being not quite elf, not quite human. You'd think he'd have some pent-up rage to dish out. Obviously, for the story, he has to lose, but let's see some adolescent anger!

Positives:

- Even though her introduction in the opening scene is abrupt and seemingly random, I loved how you tied in the woman to the next scene with Cho. I think that's a fantastic scene.. I gobbled up every word.

- The initial scene with Lichi and his father is excellently written. As another critic mentioned, your characterizations of both Lichi and his dad are superb.

- From the scene with Cho in the inn all the way through the ending, I couldn't stop reading! Wonderfully written (aside from a few small things pointed out already), and the characters were magnetic.

- I would love to read more of this, and I wouldn't hesitate to buy this once it's a finished work.

All in all, an excellent start. As I mentioned, I'd gladly read more, and if you ever decide to post another piece of this, please, let me know.