The Working Title

The Working Title
By Meg Miller














Cast of characters

Timothy Manning- 17 year old boy. Good looking despite his sloppily put together outfits. Sarcastic, harsh, critical. Overall very pessimistic. His “style” can be taken one of two ways, depending on director (either rock/punk or rap/hip hop), however originally written as a punk-type character.

Mrs. Emilia Manning- Tim’s mom. Loving, cares for her son. Widow, hard working woman, lawyer though makes a point in raising her son through the demands of her job.

Wendy Dale- 17 year old girl. Of any ethnicity. Short however her presence suggests a larger than life character at times. Stereotypical teenage girl.

Jasper Houston- 17 year old boy. Longer blonde hair- stereotypically surfer style. Tall and awkward body. Southern accent. Not that bright.

Debbie Bell- 15 year old girl. Classic geek look complete with glasses and perhaps braces, curly hair. Very shy and socially awkward.

Miss Elmira Meyers- Mean woman in her 40’s, average height, harsh features. Speaks very loudly- feel free to exaggerate as much as possible, almost to the point of shouting most lines. (also plays Eliza Meyers)

Sara Conrad- Wendy’s friend.

Lots of extras for New Rabsville, CPI (1 and 2 have lines, but there should be a lot more) and a few for the classroom as well.



Setting- First in a suburban area of America. Very typical/average town, modern day. Then as the dream begins the setting is a land similar to “Oz” but in the city and very colorful. Lighting is quite important and should reflect scene at all times.










Scene 1
*We open on stage with a simple backdrop, only a removable door upstage right. Slowly lights come up on Tim asleep on a bed, clothes and magazines all around him. We hear a rooster crow followed by the annoying buzzing of an alarm clock, but Tim doesn’t wake to shut it off. Loud knocking at the door.
Mrs. Manning
(offstage) Tim! Sweetheart, are you up? TIMMY!!!
Tim
(grumpy) I’m up, I’m up… God mom, be a little louder next time- I don’t think they could hear you down the street. (shuts off alarm clock)
Mrs. Manning
Don’t take that tone with me, your going to miss the bus again!
Tim
(*gets up in his jeans and T-shirt- presumably from yesterday, looks in a mirror past audience, shrugs, sprays himself liberally with body spray and fixes his hair a bit) Well we wouldn’t have to worry about me missing the bus every morning if I had a car, now would we?
Mrs. Manning
I refuse to have this conversation with you through your door. And trust me, with your lack of responsibility for being at school on time you will lose that argument anyway…
Tim
Emilia, your not having this conversation with me because you know there is no real reason for me not to have a car…
Mrs. Manning
What was that?
Tim
(*goes over and opens door, without pausing he goes back to pick up books and magazines and shoves them into his backpack) You heard me.
Mrs. Manning
(remains inside doorframe) I’ll pretend you didn’t just say that to me. Oh no, no. Timothy, pull up those pants. I did not raise you to dress like ‘Fifty Cents’. I do not understand how that is attractive, or comfortable for that matter.
Tim
(ignoring her order) I dunno, ask the girls at school, they seem to find it ‘attractive’. Oh, and considering I am currently immobile because of you, you have to pick me up today.
Mrs. Manning
I said pull up your pants
Tim
(*yanks them up to his chest) Better? You’re gunna pick me up today…?
Mrs. Manning
Depends on what you’re staying after for. Better not be
Both
Detention.
Mrs. Manning
Oh that’s just perfect. Who’s mother do I have to call and apologize to now?
Tim
Nobody’s. Why do you always have to jump to conclusions? I’m not as terrible as you think I am. Honestly, is this what my life is coming to? I get into a few fights and all of a sudden I’m on America’s most wanted. Would you give me some slack?
Mrs. Manning
No! But you know what, just for the sake of curiosity, why do you have detention?
Tim
I just told my chem. teacher that she was an obese carnival freak that couldn’t tell a beaker from her coffee mug. Plus or minus a few choice words…
Mrs. Manning
Timothy Edward Manning, how dare you say something like that?
Tim
Because it’s true. I swear that woman is actually a man with a gland problem.
Mrs. Manning
That’s it! You’re grounded.
Tim
I’m already grounded from last time. You can’t ground me twice.
Mrs. Manning
Yes, I can. I just did. Maybe these punishments will teach you to have a heart. It’s not that hard, Tim.
Tim
This is absolutely ridiculous! (*bus horn heard, he goes to leave the room) You can’t keep me grounded forever, you know. One day I will leave this house.
Mrs. Manning
Not if I can help it. Besides, you keep acting like you are now, the nobody else is going to want you.
Tim
That’s just great, mom. ‘Nobody wants me’. Thanks. Now, would ya move? I have to go to school. (*He blows by her and slams the door.)
Mrs. Manning
(sighs heavily.) Love you too. (*Lights out)
Scene 2
(*lights still out, music plays [director’s choice, preferably something of the rock/punk or rap genre- originally Lit “My own worst enemy”]. Bed, clothes, and door are taken off stage and replaced with some student desks on stage left (enough for the 4 main and 4 extra characters) facing a teacher’s desk. This should be on an angle out toward down-stage left. Desks empty except one [Jasper].
Lights come up as the music slowly fades. We see two girls talking in the corner, and a few guys sitting on the edge of the stage talking, all with either backpacks on or holding books. Tim walks in with a backpack and iPod blaring- walks by 2 girls)
Wendy
Hey Tim!
Tim
(*walks purposefully around without acknowledging her. Goes to sit next to Jasper) Jasper, man, you would not believe the morning I’m having. I’m grounded.
Jasper
(Not looking up as he is busy with a Rubik’s cube) Again?
Tim
Yeah.
Jasper
Eh, I believe it.
Tim
What… what are you doing?
Jasper
Nothin, just tryin’ to figure this dang thing out…
Tim
Jaz, you’ve been working on that thing for twelve weeks now, just give up. You’ll never get it.
Jasper
I appreciate your confidence in me, you know that? I really do. Now shut up, alright? I’ve almost got the yellow side down… or at least… awww shoot. I had it before you came in, I swear.
(*Debbie walks in and sits in front of them, gets her books and a pencil out, and settles into her seat. All of a sudden she starts to look really nervous, looks around and notices that Jasper and Tim are watching her- Gathers things and moves to the back of the classroom quickly)
Tim
What the..? Who is that?
Jasper
Debbie.
Tim
She new?
Jasper
She’s been in this class all year. Always sits in back. Moved here from, you know, that place…?
Tim
Hmm. Never seen her before. (*Wendy and another girl who have been talking all this time walk over to Tim)
Wendy
Hey, Tim? Um.. (*she looks at Sara who sort of pushes her forward a little. Now she speaks very fast) so do you know where prom is this year? ‘Cause like Sara and I were just talking about how I don’t have a date, right? Like, when we were just over there before, and then I realized that I just don’t even know where it is. Prom, I mean. But its not like I couldn’t get a date if I wanted, you know? But I don’t have one, really. I’m just like, taking my time with the decision. I mean, it’s a pretty big decision, don’t you think? What I mean to say is like, you only go to prom once, twice if your lucky, more if you’re in with the seniors like your freshman or sophomore year; so pretty important, right? You know, not as important as, like, who you’re going to marry, haha. But that’s not to say that I like want to marry the person that I’m going to prom with, that’s not what I’m implying, you didn’t think that I was implying that right? But that’s beside the point. It still is like a really big decision, right? Anyway, do you know where it is?
Tim
(long pause) No.
Wendy
Oh. Well… alright thanks anyway. (*She and Sara return to where they were before)
Tim
Tell me again why we put up with her? I swear one of these days I’m just gunna say flat out ‘stop talking to me. Now. Just, shut up”. God, her voice is like nails on a chalkboard.
Jasper
Why put up with her? Well, I dunno, maybe ‘cause both her parents died a month ago and maybe talkin’ just helps her keep her mind off it?
Tim
You don’t see me bringing my domestic issues to school, and then talking to people that obviously don’t care about my life…
Miss Meyers
(*entering from stage left) Seats! Take your seats (*everybody scatters to their desks)
Tim
The dishonorable judge Meyers presiding.
Miss Meyers
Heard that! Sorry to see you’re on time today Mr. Manning- I would have not only enjoyed the precious time without you but also the thrill of giving you another tardy.
Tim
So sorry to disappoint you, Elmira. But might I just say that that is a fabulous shade of death.. I mean black you are wearing. It really compliments your features. (aside to class) You can hardly see her scales.
Miss Meyers
Heard that too- and speaking of scales, I finished correcting your midterm papers on the legal system last night. After seeing those utterly abysmal grades, I just wanted to shred the entire stack… (the class cheers) But then I decided that it wouldn’t be fair to all those trees that gave their lives for your abysmal grades, so here they are. (*starts passing out massive graded papers, exaduratedly thick. Drops a paper on each desk with each name said-) Ms Dale, your opinion was completely incorrect… Ms Conrad, tragic misinterpretation of anything the United States ever stood for… Ms Bell, ‘A’ as always… Mr. Manning (scoffs)… Mr. Houston, honestly your stupidity renders me speechless. As for the rest of you, I trust you already know of our school’s writing center. I would suggest that you all find your way there sometime soon to learn what grammar is.
Tim
And we suggest that you find your way to a pharmacy to learn what deodorant is.
Miss Meyers
(*takes out marker and writes ‘Tim Manning: 1’ on the board) Alright class now today we will be discussing..
Tim
(raises hand) Uh, excuse me. Why did you just write that?
Miss Meyers
Well I have a lot to get through today so instead of trying to keep track of your detentions in my head, I thought that I would make use of the board. As I was saying- (*she continues to teach quietly as Tim and Jasper talk)
Tim
(under breath) This is bullshit
Jasper
Well, maybe you should stop being such a jerk.
Tim
I’m being a jerk? What about her? She has no right to give me a detention, I haven’t done anything!
Jasper
That’s just it. You don’t realize that you have the worst personality- that’s why you get punished.
Tim
I don’t have the bad personality, it’s Meyers, and my mom, and everybody else that has the problems here! Are you honestly that stupid to not see that I am completely justified in how I treat people?
Jasper
Not how you treat me.
Tim
What?
Jasper
(sigh) Nothin’.
Tim
(*looks up at the board) What the hell!
Miss Meyers
Is there a problem, Mr. Manning?
Tim
Why do I have three more detentions? This is so unfair, I wasn’t doing anything!
Miss Meyers
Well within the past two minutes I have been trying to get your attention so you would stop talking. Three times I said ‘If you don’t stop talking, I will give you a detention’. So now you have four.
Tim
(to Jasper) What the hell, man? Why didn’t you tell me she was talking to me?
Jasper
I didn’t know she-
Tim
Ugh, just shut up already! You’re useless. (*he rests his head down on his desk)
Miss Meyers
Are you finished, Mr. Manning?
Tim
(sneering) Yeah, you know what? I’m finished. Finished with everyone. (*during Meyers’s next segment, Tim should be nodding off to sleep gradually, only woken by Jasper maybe once at the beginning- as he falls asleep, lights go down but Meyers keeps talking. Stage goes black relatively quickly so set pieces can be removed- fades into next scene)
Miss Meyers
Alright, so now we will finally begin our unit on the media’s coverage of current events. This section will be mostly proposing, preparing, and protecting different sides of debates. These debates will act as paper presentations, people! (glass groans) Yeah, yeah, life’s rough, get used to it. For each debate you must type up your argument- five to six pages including possible counterpoints for rebuttal. The teams will be you four here, and then you four in the back. Work together on this outside of class, and because I am feeling oddly generous today, I will give you half of a short period to work on it in class. Our first major debate will be next Thursday, beginning right at 8:05- get here on time or you will not receive a passing grade! Hear that Mr. Manning?... Mr. Manning? Tim Manning?...
Scene 3
(*In the dark, Tim is standing on a sidewalk next to a street sign indicating he is at the corner of Here and There. Nobody else is onstage. When the lights do eventually come up, they should be reds, oranges, and yellows.)
Tim
(waking up- Yawns) Awww man! (pause) Well, this is weird. Where the hell am I? (pause) Ugh, I thought I was over the whole sleep-walking thing. Shoot. Hmm. The basement maybe? (pause) MOM!?!? HELLO!!! Mom, at least turn the lights on, I can’t see a th- (pause) Oh no. Not the basement, I was in class, wasn’t I? I walked right out of class! Oh this is just great, Meyers is gunna kill me! (pause) This is a great excuse though. Maybe I’ll sleep walk out of third period genetics. And fifth period too. I mean, if they aren’t going to stop me. She didn’t try to stop me right? I don’t remember. (pause) Obviously I don’t remember, I was asleep. (lights VERY slowly come up on stage) Unless I’m still asleep. That would make sense. Really realistic though. Eh, might as well play it out, I must be really tired to have a dream this lame. Ouch! What the..? Well that felt real… Ouch! I can’t move! I’m stuck! Shoot! This is just my luck. I’m stuck, in who knows what, who knows where, and nobody is around. This is the worst dream ev- Owww!! No way! These were my favorite shoes! (*He bends down to try to save his sneakers. People start to walk on stage in business clothes and cloth mask/caps so they do not have faces. Beginning with one or two, working up to a huge crowd, moving robotically from different sides of the stage. To the first person-) Hey! Hey you! Excuse me? Um, hello? …Prick. Oh hey! Hey you! A little help here? Hey, I’m talkin’ to you! Helloooo? I know you can hear me!... Anybody? Guys, I’m stuck! As in can’t move. (*waves his hands around, claps, does anything to get attention. Meanwhile the people around him start to get louder) What the hell! Come on! I NEED HELP!!! Why aren’t you listening? I said, I need HEEEEE-
Jasper and Wendy
(running and screaming over Tim’s scream) AHHHHHHH-
(*Jasper and Wendy run into him, knocking them all down. Now the people walking across stage have subtly decreased in number. Jasper and Wendy have on very elaborate and bright colored clothes that contrast greatly with the suited people walking around. They wear huge hooded sweatshirts to hide their faces, but the hoods are far too big and droop over their eyes causing them to not see.)
Wendy
(*she takes her hood off) Oww! (gasps, gets up quickly, looks all around) Where is she?  Can’t see ‘er, musta ditched her right when we hid behind those trashcans. Aww nice! Brilliant, we are brilliant.
Jasper
(*takes his hood off) We are in pain is what we are. Dang, my head hurts more than a sledgehammer to your baby toe. What’d we run into, Wendy?
Wendy
Ugh, another statue. Don’t recognize who it’s of though. You knocked it over.
Jasper
Shoot, can we fix it?
Tim
(*sitting up/ massaging the pain out of one of his arms) No! You can’t fix it…me, I mean you cant fix me. (*Jasper and Wendy put their hoods back on in fear)
Jasper
Since when did New Rabsville spring for talkin’ statues?
Tim
I’m not a statue, you idiot. I’m a person!
Jasper
Then why are your feet bolted to the ground? No person I know keeps their feet bolted to anything, unless they’re a statue. Or a snowboarder. But you aint a snowboarder, right?
Wendy
(overly sweetly) He can’t be, darling. There isn’t any snow here.
Jasper
Oh yeah. Haha, forgot about the snow. (to Tim) Sometimes I do that, you know? Ever forget about snow?
Tim
(confused but bitter) Uh, no. No I tend not to forget about snow. Listen, I’ve been stuck here for a good hour, maybe more. My feet hurt, I’m starving, I mean normally my dreams aren’t this vivid. I don’t even know what the hell this place is supposed to be- just help me outta the concrete, kay?
Wendy
Why, you’re in New Rabsville of course!
Jasper
“The Big Orange”
Wendy
The most beautiful city in America (*Wendy and Jasper put their hands to their hearts and look off into the sky and sigh in a daydream)
Tim
(looks at them then to the sky to find out what they are looking at.) Wow. Note to self- switch to decaf. Okay, whatever. Do you think we can get the shoes out? I don’t think that the concrete is that dry yet, but maybe if we-
JASPER
Well whatever you wanna do about those sneakers it’s gunna have to be fast ‘cause Wendy and I gotta git out of here! Look! (*Indicates something offstage)
TIM
What? Look at what? What’s going on?
WENDY
Oh no! Quick, untie the left one. I’ve got the right. Hurry! (*Jasper and Wendy untie his shoes and force his feet out of them)
TIM
What are you doing? Wait, why the rush? What’s happening?
WENDY
You want us to help you or not?
TIM
Well yeah, but…
JASPER
There’s no time to talk! We’ll tell you everything somewhere else, now let’s go!
TIM
But my shoes!
WENDY
How are you not getting this? We have to go NOW! (*People enter in abstract patterned costumes- all black and white, with black, white, and red clown face paint. They move like possessed ninjas and carry huge swords. They enter, begin to chase the kids, and then chase them off stage right, followed by Miss Meyers wearing all black. Lights fade to black.)
Scene 4
(*Set in a hippie diner, lights are blues, greens, and purples. There are a few tables and chairs set up, people all around in hippie-esque clothing, all scarily out of reality. A few people sitting on the floor listening to somebody playing a guitar and singing. All light is dim except around one table with three chairs. [desks from school scene double as tables]Tim, Jasper, and Wendy come in out of breath, Wendy and Jasper still wearing their hoods. They sit at the table. )
TIM
Those guys had samurai blades! They were gunna go kung-fu on your asses with medieval ninja swords! That… was… SICK!!
JASPER
They got too close that time.
WENDY
Yeah. They’ll never find us in here, though. Great idea Jasper!
TIM
Jasper? (*Wendy and Jasper take off their hoods) Aw man, Jaz, it is you. What the hell are you wearing?
JASPER
Uh, clothes. Do I know you?
TIM
Yeah, its me. Tim. (whispering) Dude, why are you hangin’ out with Wendy? And honestly, whats with the getup? Was this a dare or something? Her too- man it looks like the 80’s threw up on you guys.
JASPER
Oh! Tim! Good to see ya Tim. It’s been too long. How’s, uh, your…. dog?
TIM
I don’t have a dog, I’m allergic. You know that. You okay man?
JASPER
Yeah, just tryin to make small talk considerin’ I have no idea whats goin’ on.
WENDY
How did you know my name?
TIM
Because we’ve been going to school together for years. Come on, guys, it’s me. Now would you snap out of it and tell me where the hell we are? I’m starting to freak out here.
WENDY
Alright, listen- what did you say your name was? Tim? I don’t know how you know us because we have never seen you before in our lives. I was home schooled, and Jasper here… well he’s never been to a day of school in his life.
JASPER
It’s true. Not a single day. Doin pretty well, aint I? For never goin to school?
WENDY
So either we just look like two of your friends, or else… or else you’re a CPI.
JASPER
Oh no Wendy, he can’t be. Can he? They don’t regularly get stuck in cement, they aint that dumb, right?
TIM
I’m not dumb I just ended up in the concrete by mistake. And who are “CPI”? What the heck is going on? You guys have been acting really weird. I- Oh, wait. Wait a sec, I get it! Haha, I almost forgot this was a dream.
WENDY AND JASPER
(looking at each other) A dream?
WENDY
This isn’t a dream. But listen, kid. We don’t have much time before they find us, so I’m just going to fill you in. You’re new here, I get that. I also get that you are very very lost, and pretty much helpless, but I want to help you. Like we said before, we are in New Rabsville. Jasper and I are on our way to see the mayor before Eliza catches us.
JASPER
Yeah, but-
WENDY
Jasper, really, I got this. (to Tim) See, Jasper just moved into my apartment building two weeks ago, that’s how I know him. Anyway, Eliza is our landlady- but she is also the unofficial owner of this town. And those guys that were after us before- they are CPI… err, Collateral Policy Informers, and they work for her.
JASPER
Yeah, all they do is walk around and when Eliza tells them to grab someone on account of they ain’t paid her enough or on time or somethin’, shoot, you’ll never see them again.
WENDY
(Suddenly somber) Yeah… That’s how I lost my parents. (pause) But it’s not gunna happen to me. That’s why we’re running. Once the mayor finds out about what that woman is trying to do to us just because of some rent problems, he’ll throw her in jail or banish her and thing’s will finally get back to the way they were before.
TIM
Yeeeaaahhhh… um, that’s great. So I’m just gunna follow you guys around until I wake up.  Where exactly are we going? Because if it’s far and boring, I can find another way to spend my dream. I think I saw an arcade on the way here, so-
WENDY
I don’t think it’s that far, but I figured I could get directions from somebody in here. I’ll be right back. (*to somebody in the room) Hey, can you tell me how to get to City Hall?
HIPPIE
Sure man. All you gotta do is take I-34 west until it turns into a yellow brick- (*interrupted by the CPI busting in. Lights switch from purples and blues to reds and oranges.)
CPI AGENT
(hissing quality to his voice) Wendy Dale! Remain motionless! We have orders to place you under arrest.
WENDY
(to Jasper and Tim) RUN!!!
(*Wendy, Jasper, and Tim start for the “door” stage left. An agent punches Jasper in the stomach, he goes down to the floor in pain. The agent takes out a sword and begins wacking at Jasper who rolls under one of the tables. At the same time Wendy punches an agent in the face, squats down into a spin-kick to take down two others, then uses one of their swords to kill all three. In the mean time Tim is being chocked by an agent and is helpless. Wendy drops the sword and karate chops Tim’s agent in the neck, knocking him out. Tim goes to run off stage again but is stopped by Jasper’s agent who has now given up on Jaz ever coming out from under the table. That agent swings at Tim’s feet with the sword, but Tim jumps. During this, Wendy should be helping Jasper out from under the table. While all of this is happening, the hippies are all being killed by two agents because the hippies are drugged out of their minds and don’t know what’s going on. Wendy comes over to Tim’s new agent and elbow’s him in the head, takes his sword, and finishes him off. The last two agents that have been killing the hippies run to attack the three kids, Wendy yells for Tim to get out of the way, and spins around to kill both with the sword. Drops the weapon)  Lets get out of here. (the kids run out of the restaurant- stage left, but not before Tim takes a pair of red Converse All Stars from one of the dead hippies. Lights fade to black)

Scene 5
(*Lights come up in green hues on four eerie, poorly drawn cardboard cut outs of trees and a small bench
Jasper, Tim, and Wendy (in that order) slowly back into the scene from stage right, facing off stage in fear. They are out of breath and Tim has a gash under his eye. From the opposite side of the stage, Debbie is slowly backing up facing offstage right in fear.)
TIM
(whispering) Holy shit, those guys aren’t screwin’ around are they! I’m fucking bleeding!
WENDY
Shhhh!
TIM
Sorry. (pause) Hey Wendy. Thanks for helping me out back there. You too Jaz. But man, I’ve never seen a girl fight like that.
WENDY
(*shocked by his first sign on politeness) Thanks! Now, shhh!
(*They finally reach the middle of the stage and Jasper and Debbie bump into each other.)
DEBBIE and JASPER
AHH!
All FOUR
AHHHH!!!
(*They all scatter and run behind trees.)
JASPER
Who the heck was that?
TIM
How am I supposed to know?
WENDY
Jasper? Guys? You alright?
TIM
What do you think? Damn it, my nerves are shot.(*Debbie starts to cry somewhere behind a tree)
WENDY
Whats that sound? Jasper, are you crying?
JASPER
No, that aint me. (pause) Tim?
TIM
Hell no, man. I don’t cry.
WENDY
Hang on, I’m gunna go see what it is. (*Wendy creeps out from behind a tree and goes over to see the source of the crying)
WENDY
Hello? You okay in there?
DEBBIE
(*she lets out a yelp like a scared mouse and jumps out. By this time Jasper and Tim have come out of hiding) Don’t touch me! Don’t come any closer, all of you! I have mace! (*she goes into her purse and rummages around)
WENDY
Hey! Wait, no it’s okay! We aren’t going to hurt you! (*Debbie pulls out mace and alternates pointing it at the three others.)
TIM
Shit! Hey, no- stop! Wendy, lets get outta here. She obviously doesn’t want your help.
WENDY
No, Tim. She looks terrified. (to Debbie- motherly) What’s wrong? I promise I wont hurt you. You’re alright.
DEBBIE
(*Takes a moment to analyze the three kids intently, lowers her mace very slowly, looking over her shoulders and around the stage, and begins to sob again.) It’s my… my.. my… my boyfriend! He was ch-ch-chasing me! I don’t know what he’s gunna (sniff) doooo!
JASPER (said at the same time as Wendy’s next line)
Oh my gosh, that’s horrible!
WENDY
Oh, poor thing!
TIM
Ugh, sure he wasn’t running away from you? I mean, look at you-
WENDY
Tim! What the hell? This girl is traumatized!
JASPER
What’s your name?
DEBBIE
(sniffle) I’m Debbie.
TIM
Debbie? Really? (*looks at her with great focus and disbelief. Then concludes: ) Food poisoning. This has happened before actually. One time I had bad Chinese food and I dreamt about balloons that made clown animals. That dream was nothing compared to this one, let me tell you-
JASPER and WENDY
Not a dream!!!
JASPER
Debbie. I’m Jasper, this is Wendy, and the kid with the imagination is Tim. We three are goin’ to City Hall-
WENDY
Jasper, shut up! You don’t know if she is undercover CPI- (catching herself) I mean… no offence.
DEBBIE
(wiping tears away) None taken. I’m not though. I’m too scared of them, I would never be able to enlist. Just the thought of them… (*lost in thought, she starts to cry again.)
TIM
Would ya shut up already? Those guys are gunna hear you and then find us.
DEBBIE
(unsuccessfully trying to stifle her tears) I’m…I’m sorry.
WENDY
No, it’s okay. Tim, quit being such a jerk! (to Debbie) Where are you headed?
DEBBIE
Well, I was going to go to City Hall. I figure it’s safe there. But then, just before I bumped into you guys, I started thinking; what if it’s not safe? What if it’s not safe at all? What if on the way there the CPI bag me instead of somebody else by mistake? They won’t believe a word anybody says- they see me walking down the street, and think I’m a criminal! It could happen! Or what’s worse- what if somebody sneezes on me! I have a horrible immune system, I mean- (gasps in a realization) Or, or what if Roger isn’t chasing me anymore, but just went right to City Hall? Roger’s my boyfriend. What if he’s there right now, sitting with the Mayor, and getting him on his side? What if all this time, I’m just trying so hard to get to a place that I think is safe, and then when I… when I get there… (*outburst of tears).
WENDY
Oh, no. It’s going to be okay. You don’t have to worry about any of that, because we are going to go with you! Right guys?
JASPER
Right!
TIM
Well, I don’t know. I mean, if she’s gunna be crying the whole time, I don’t want to have to deal with a pathetic girl with PMS and mace-
WENDY
That’s it! Jasper, you try keep Debbie company and tell her how we are getting to City Hall. I have to talk to Tim in private. (*Jasper takes Debbie to sit down on the bench and comforts her. Wendy grabs Tim’s arm and drags him to the other side of the stage) Alright, what exactly is your problem?
TIM
Excuse me?
WENDY
I’m sorry to have to say this, but you are a complete douche bag!
TIM
(Sarcastically) Awww, thanks!
WENDY
That was definitely not a compliment.
TIM
What did you want me to say? That she is the coolest person I’ve ever met and I can’t wait to have her fill up the entirety of my dr- (*begins to say dream, but for the sake of confrontation changes the word) I mean, my journey.
WENDY
No! It’s not even just that. Ever since we met you, you have been nothing but nasty to us. It can’t be our fault, so it’s got to be something else that’s wrong with you. I mean you make fun of Jasper, and treat me like shit! I’m starting to think that we were wrong to have helped you out of the concrete.
TIM
(sighs) No, you did the right thing. Err, what I meant was, (*looks down and has great difficulty saying this) thank you.
WENDY
(long pause while studying him) So… are you alright?
TIM
(shocked) Huh?
WENDY
Is everything alright? I’m usually good at reading people, but I’m no psychic.
TIM
Oh, yeah. I’m fine. (long pause as he is thinking intently) You know what, no. I mean, I might as well milk this dream for all it’s worth- so no. I haven’t been feeling all that well lately.
WENDY
What’s wrong?
TIM
It’s stupid, never mind. Let’s go-
WENDY
It isn’t stupid if it makes you this upset.
TIM
I don’t like to talk about it, kay? So just drop it!
WENDY
I’m not gunna drop it, Tim. First of all, you’ll feel a lot better, and then maybe you’ll stop being such a jackass to me and Jaz.
TIM
You promise to just let it go once I tell you? ‘Cuz I’m not spending my dream explaining myself…
WENDY
(slightly fed up) Promise
TIM
(looking down again and kind of mumbling) Three years ago next week my dad died. (pause, then returning to sarcasm) Happy now? Can we go please?
WENDY
Oh my gosh, Tim. I’m so sorry. You wanna talk about it?
TIM
Obviously I don’t want to talk about it. And you said you would drop it!
WENDY
No no, what I mean to say is (takes a deep breath and pause.) What I mean to say is that my parents died not too long ago too and… well I guess I just know what it feels like.
TIM
(pause/ thinking) Thanks. (snapping back to his cover personality) Now please, get Jasper and his new girlfriend and lets get out of here. (*swatting the air) The bugs are starting to get to me.
WENDY
(pause realizing she got him to open up) Yeah I’ll get them.
(*Wendy goes over to where Japer has been hanging out with Debbie. They have been getting closer and closer to each other during their own conversation. Tim stands alone at the front of the stage, looking out at the “sky”)
WENDY
(to Jasper and Debbie) Alright guys, lets go. If we head over to the bus stop now we can still make the bus to City Hall.
JASPER
Good idea, but I can-
WENDY
No, you don’t have to go get your car. The bus is closer.
DEBBIE
(quietly) Is he okay over there?
WENDY
(*looking over at Tim smiling) Yeah, he’s gunna be fine. (*Blackout)

Scene six
(*everything off stage except an old, ugly bus stop sign at the very front of the stage [down left]. Lights are really bright and intense- orange, yellows, and reds. The masses of people are back, walking around on stage to create confusion and claustrophobia. Optional sounds like horns and other ‘city’ noises. There are two CPI agents in the crowd.
Wendy, Jasper, Debbie, and Tim come on stage right clinging to each other’s arms as to not get lost among the people.)
WENDY
Alright guys, stay close! Once we get on that bus, we are basically home free.
TIM
Finally. It’s about time I started having a new dream. Maybe something with Paris Hilton.
DEBBIE
Umm, that girl over there is looking at me funny. Like really funny. Don’t look, don’t look! But, seriously, I think she’s CPI out to get me. (*They all look over to see a little girl in a pink dress eating an ice cream cone)
TIM
(disgusted) Chill out! I don’t understand how you are even alive right now- all that stress would kill me for sure.
JASPER
She’s not stressed, she’s apprehensive.
TIM
Ooo, apprehensive. Big word, Jaz. Ten points-
WENDY
(*making Tim shut up) Hey!
TIM
(pause) Sorry guys.
WENDY
Okay, I’m going to go check the schedule. You three stay here, I’ll be right back. (*goes off stage left looking for a schedule. Meanwhile the others stay far stage right to wait for her)
TIM
Soooo… have you two met the mayor before?
DEBBIE
No. Not many people have. He kinda just stays in his home or at City Hall- or at least, that’s what everybody thinks. I guess he is some big guy, with like… black eyes that can see right through you. I heard that he was part of the CPI once. (lost in her own thoughts) Scary.
JASPER
Hahaha, aww man. Naw that ain’t it at all! I- (*interrupted by Wendy screaming. At this point she is far stage left and the two CPI agents have her hostage- one is holding her arm behind her back and has a sword to her throat. They are preceding to pull her off stage left)
WENDY
Help me! Tim!!! Help!
TIM
Wendy! (*He and the other two try to run after her but the people that are walking around on stage block them. Wendy is removed as the three struggle to get through the crowd)
TIM
(all three are looking around the stage) Wendy!! Wendy where are you?
JASPER
Wendy!!! Awww no! They took her!
DEBBIE
What area they gunna do to her? They can’t do anything that bad, I mean she’s just in trouble for rent, right? Or is she? Am I an accomplice to something I don’t know about? (to self) oh no, oh no, oh no no no no! (*sits on the floor hugging her knees to her chest and looking around anxiously)
TIM
Alright guys, just… just be quiet for a minute, kay? We gotta think this out. Jasper, where would those guys take her?
JASPER
Well, sometimes they just take people to the lake, tie their feet to a piece of this old brick wall, and then drown them. Or they could have taken her to the toxic waste dump (you wouldn’t believe how many sculls and other shit cops find in bins). But she’s only in a little bit of trouble, so she’s probably in that CPI detainment facility right over there (*points out past audience).
TIM
(noting where Jasper points) Oh. That’s convenient.
JASPER
Yeah. But they aren’t gunna just let us bail her out, ‘cuz once you’re in a CPI jail, you don’t come out, ever.  Besides we aint got no money to bail her out with anyway.
TIM
What if we get the mayor to help us?
DEBBIE
We don’t have any proof that anything’s wrong. They would tell him that Wendy murdered somebody or did something bad enough to be put there, and he’d believe it.
JASPER
I don’t know about that-
TIM
Jasper! Shut it, I’m trying to think! (thinks for a second) Can we break in?
JASPER
It’s all guarded. High security stuff. We could go in through the front though.
TIM
(sarcastically) Great plan! Really! Now is the next part where we all get thrown in jail?
JASPER
No, really. If Debbie pretends to be a mail carrier delivering a package, the guy at the front desk will have to go out to the “truck” to get it. Tim, you and me will stand outside the door and hit the guy over the head with a microwave or somethin’, take his badge, and go in. Wendy is minimal security because it’s just payment issues, so she’ll be in the front of the building. Go in, get her, get out. Its easy.
TIM
(pause in astonishment) You just thought of that one?
JASPER
(proud)Yeah, I guess I did.
TIM
Awesome! No problems then, lets go now and-
DEBBIE
(*standig up abruptly) Hold on a minute! Big problem!!! I’m not going in there! There’s no way. They are going to know I’m lying and that I am not a real mail carrier and then they… they will do something terrible to me for lying to them.
TIM
No, Debbie. It’s going to be okay. All you have to do is go in there, have a guy sign a piece of paper, and then tell him the package is in the truck. You will be alright, they aren’t going to know you’re lying to them, I promise.
DEBBIE
(starting to tear up again) No, no. It’s not gunna happen. I… I can’t .
TIM
Debbie, you can. I know you can. We have to save Wendy! (*realizing what he just said) Whoa!
JASPER
You okay?
TIM
Yeah, yeah, I’m cool. I just… I just cared for a second and its really creeping me out. Anyway, really- Debbie, you have to do this, please!
DEBBIE
(*gathering all her strength) For Wendy, I’ll… I’ll do it.
JASPER
Yes! Alright, guys (takes a big breath in preparation to face almost certain death) let’s do this.
(*blackout)


Scene 7
(*Nothing on stage except one segment of prison-type bars behind which stands Wendy- looking exhausted. Lights come up in green, yellow, and a bit of blue- making the scene look grimy and cold.)
DEBBIE
(*offstage) Right, uh.. right this way, sir. (*a loud ‘clang’ is heard and a large CPI agent falls so he his visible to the audience offstage right. The audience sees the man be slowly dragged off. Debbie, Jasper, and Tim enter stage right- Tim and Jasper carrying frying pans.)
TIM
Great job, guys. See, Debbie? I knew you could do it!
DEBBIE
Yeah, I was pretty good, wasn’t I?
TIM
You were excellent. But, umm, Jasper? Where the hell did you find frying pans?
WENDY
Hey! Guys, I’m over here!
JASPER
Wendy!!! (*they all run over to her cell and try to open the it)
TIM
This thing is bolted shut! How did they even get you in here?
WENDY
Oh! I just walked around. (*walks around the bars and hugs Jasper, then Debbie. Then when she gets to Tim they just look at each other for a second. She goes to hug him but is interrupted by Miss Meyers entering stage right)
MISS MEYERS
You! Wendy Dale, we finally get you into custody and you have the NERVE to make your little boyfriend come save you?!? Aww, how cute- a little double date to save the precious Wendy. Jasper and.. Debbie? Well Debbie dearest, you picked the wrong day to mess with Eliza Meyers. Do you know what I could do to you? (*Debbie screams and hides behind Jasper) Hahaha!
TIM
Hey! That’s enough. We haven’t done anything to you, just let us go.
MISS MEYERS
Oh! The boyfriend speaks? Listen up, Prince Charming- you are in my world now, and I can do whatever I want. (*at this point she is facing Tim and Debbie, behind her, has picked up a frying pan)
TIM
Nobody has that power.
MISS MEYERS
(basically screaming) You don’t have that power.
TIM
You’re right, I don’t.
MISS MEYERS
You’re damn right I’m right. SECURITY! (*CPI agents come in and surround the four kids and Meyers)
TIM
We haven’t done anything! You can’t be this heartless-
MISS MEYERS
Oh, I can. And I am. Get used to it, kid. Because you’re gunna be seeing a lot of me for the rest of your short life. (*Meyers and the CPI start to move in)
TIM
Debbie! (*Debbie whacks Meyers over the head with the frying pan leaving her unconscious. The four kids rush to stand together in the center of the CPI, in positions suggesting that they are ready to fight. The CPI don’t move, but begin to cheer and throw their sunglasses to the floor. Some of the CPI drag Meyers off stage) What the hell is going on?
DEBBIE
We should be dead… why aren’t we dead?
CPI AGENT 1
We’ve been forced into kidnapping innocent kids like you for years! You think we enjoy this job?
CPI AGENT 2
You’ve done us all a huge favor! Now the CPI agency goes to the next Meyers in line- Elmira, her sister. She’s a huge improvement over Eliza- still strict, but her intentions are good.
TIM
(the kids look at each other for a second) Sweet!
CPI AGENT 1
Can we do anything for you guys?  I mean, we owe you.
WENDY
Well, could you bring us to the mayor’s house? City Hall is closed by now.
JASPER
Apartment, actually. 153, Smith Ave. Apartment 221 B. The one with the green “Home sweet Home” doormat.
TIM
Yeah, these guys have some stuff that needs to be taken care of.
WENDY
(aside to the agent) Also, I’m a little behind on my rent, you think you could- Wait, Jasper, did you just say 153 Smith Ave?
CPI 1
That’s what he said. Apartment 221 B. My cousin Kyle just helped him move there. Isn’t that right, Mr Houston?
JASPER
And it’s a good thing he did, I wouldn’t have been able to life that couch by myself!
TIM
You’re the mayor?
CPI 2
Yeah, I thought you looked familiar! Nice to see you again, Mr. Houston!
WENDY
Jasper! You should have told me!
JASPER
I tried, you guys were always too busy. But it’s alright- now you know.
DEBBIE
So, you can grant me a restraining order against my boyfriend?
JASPER
Of course I can, Debbie. You don’t need to worry about him anymore.
WENDY
And you can make sure the CPI don’t get all corrupt again? (to CPI) No offence.
JASPER
Yep! They will be under close surveillance at all times. So the people of New Rabsville can live in peace.
TIM
(slightly confused) I give up trying to understand this place.
JASPER
And Tim, thank you. Without you Wendy would not have her home, Debbie would still be a coward, and Eliza Meyers would still be running things right under my nose.
TIM
Eh, don’t worry about it- least I could do, really. (sighs) Well, guys, I should be waking up soon, so…. Yeah, it’s been (pause) It’s been somethin’.
JASPER
(*shake’s Tim’s hand) Thanks again, man.
DEBBIE
Yeah, thanks! (hugs Tim)
WENDY
I’m really gunna miss you, Tim.
TIM
(going to say “I’ll miss you too”) I…. I’ll see you when I wake up. (*they hug. Then acknowledging the CPI) Guys- it’s been real. I’ll see you all later!
(*they all wave goodbye as the lights  fade to black)

Scene 8
(*the classroom setting is back, all desks are empty. Tim is laying down next to a desk with Jasper and Wendy sitting next to him)
JASPER
Wendy, he’s waking up!
TIM
Ugh, what time is it?
JASPER
Four fifteen. Tim look! I did it! I finished the puzzle! (*holds up a completed Rubik’s cube)
TIM
Whoa, you really did! Good job! Oh man, you wouldn’t believe it- I just had the weirdest dream ev- wait. Four fifteen? School got out an over an hour ago! Why are we still here?
JASPER
Well, I was on a roll with this cube thing, and well, you were kinda unconscious for a while.
TIM
I was what?
WENDY
Yeah, Meyers tried to wake you up by slamming books on your desk, but she ended up dropping them on you.
TIM
Oh- (*puts a hand to his head) doesn’t hurt too bad, I should be fine.
JASPER
You alright man? You sure you don’t want to cuss her out, throw a fit… sue her? … something?
TIM
No, it’s alright. But, hey- I’m sorry about being a jerk before, I guess I’m just not feeling all that well today.
JASPER
(cautious) That’s okay, I’m used to it.
TIM
Yeah, I know- and I’m sorry.
WENDY
(to Jasper) She must have hit his head harder that we thought… (*Debbie runs in to grab a book that she forgot)
DEBBIE
(*seeing the others) Oh… I was just… getting my book. Sorry to interrupt- (*turns to leave)
JASPER
(gets up) It’s okay, you didn’t interrupt. Um, I was just heading out, can I walk with you?
DEBBIE
(*smiles) Yeah, sure.
JASPER
Alright, I’ll see you later Tim. (*he grabs his backpack, they exit together- talking)
WENDY
You alright to get up?
TIM
Yeah, I’m okay- really. (*Wendy helps him up and they start to walk out) So Wendy, I was thinking that we should go to prom together.
WENDY
Really? But you hate me...
TIM
Of course I don’t hate you. (pause) I’m not that heartless.
(*they walk out the door, lights fade to black)