Remove each layer
nothing changes -
feelings trapped
no compromise -
veiled deception
no mask of truth
Author notes
Prompt - Picture B
In a list
A contest entry
- - Speak to Me in 15 Words XXXVI - by Desire.
700 points, ended August 27, 2008, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Thank You!!
Thank You for Your entry: Layers
This piece tugged hard at Spirit and while I was reading which I do several times~ Images come to me in many forms~ while taking in Your words: veiled deception- and I must say the beginning- very intriguing- especially with the: nothing changes- I am being shown an onion- how each layered peeled- looks the same however upon closer inspection with a microscope- one may notice the variance in the onion *veins* as I am being nudged to say- also being shown when the onion is marinated- or set in dye- then peeled- how *deep* does it penetrate- to the core? and after I read again- re: veiled deception- I'm being shown...now this is just what I am seeing when I read Your words- reference to shroud- but seeing this cloth over a persons face- the person is lying on back- as if in wake- if that makes sense- and the cloth is like a cheese cloth- very thin- appears blessed-Sacred- The last line pulls for I was getting images of how the *mask* made to go over the face of the one underneath the cloth- unfinished- details incomplete- for some reason seeing a hand painting hieroglyphs on the mask- and getting reference to: Sacred text- person painting looking in Sacred text- for appropriate- scriptures However this to be interpreted Whether metaphor or symbolism
Hopefully this makes some sense~
Excellent take on the prompt ~
Powerful images & message You have brought forth
Thank You for sharing Your Talent also Voice!
Best wishes to You in the contest Sweet Soul
**Judging will be done shortly...
Many blessings too
and much love & light~ Desire~*~
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Well you spoke to me in 15 words,
deep meaning held within this one.
Love a poem that can stop and make me
ponder.
Thanks for sharing,
Warm thoughts.
frozentearz -
Nice job.
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Beautiful use of 15 words---Excellent!!
Well done & Best of Luck in the contest!
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Trapped
Often I feel trapped and especially when I entered into relationships. It takes time andpain to peel those layers away.
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Good luck in the contest, Sue.
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Very good indeed!
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I actually had to count the words to see if you really only had fifteen. You really said a lot here.
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Lovely stuff
You are getting to be a great free verser!
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