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Bark of truth


Beige wings
still leaf,
both bronzed
to conceal life
amicably

and flutter hues within breaths.



Author notes

Picture credit - photobucket

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Desire gold member
    August 27, 2008

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    Thank You!!

    Thank You for Your entry: Bark of truth
    This piece tugged hard at Spirit and while I was reading which I do several times~ Images come to me in many forms~ while taking in Your words: both bronzed- Now this may sound wild- for someeeeee reason while reading that line- I instantly got the Holocaust Museum in my Mind- I kept seeing that also when I read- *conceal life* I was shown a woman with her face covered- only her eyes were shown- every other part of her body was concealed- and she had no Life-she was not a caterpillar in a cocoon- everything was hidden- underneath cloth- there was no emergence into a beautiful butterfly- no one else could see but her husband- she was property- a barter for her immediate family - after reading again- I was shown a scorpion reference-interestingly though- just the tail part of the body however that is to be interpreted- Whether metaphor or symbolism
    Hopefully this makes some sense~
    Excellent take on the prompt ~
    Powerful images & message You have brought forth

    Thank You for sharing Your Talent also Voice!
    Best wishes to You in the contest Sweet Soul
    **Judging will be done shortly...
    Many blessings too
    and much love & light~ Desire~*~


    • crimsondew
      August 27, 2008
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      I am glad you found my piece interesting!
      have a lovely day!


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    August 22, 2008

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    Still life poetry is always stunning.. as is this! Made me think of life being bronzed to hold the beauty so it doesn't fade..

  • strangerforeigner
    August 21, 2008
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    Hm, very litteral inspiration, nothing with that, though. Very well done.


  • notorious gold member
    August 21, 2008

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    Hmm, this doesn't really remind me of Jackie's poem, but it's pretty cool.

    I think "still on leaf" could be expanded to:

    "still life <--you know...I think it makes it feel more artsy since "still life" is art in itself.
    against a leaf"

    Although...you had a word limit, so never mind. LD

    I think 'in' could be 'within'...'within' sounds so much more magical & ethereal to me.

    Good luck


  • PerfectImperfection
    August 21, 2008

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    This is a truly beautiful take on the image chosen to inspire. A soft, fluent stride of poetic device and thought. Best wishes in the contest!!!


    • crimsondew
      August 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks a lot dear! Your poem is excellent in itself as well...

1 - 12 of 12