crying, tears hitting the ground,
waiting for my death.
watch the lightning,
hear the thunder
not being able to bear anymore,
i see a burning tree,
and start to climb.
i feel my flesh burning,
sizzling, bleeding, melting away
feeling the pains of life,
depression, hate, sorrow, regret
lightning flashes before my eyes
my tree being hit
my foundation is shaken,
thunder claps,
a branch falls down,
retract from memories,
back to my current pain,
the sizzling is gone,
the bleeding has stopped,
I'm being pulled back,
to the heart of the tree,
I'm being pulled into nothing,
but feel as though it is something,
it is the origin of the tree
the abyss we call hell,
this is where i will be.
A contest entry
- The Fantasy Element by ArchOblivion.
600 points, ended September 7, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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macabre. I love how you didn't sugarcoat. Just this is how it is, depression is ugly.
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Very nice imagery definitely dark, I can surely see the fantasy idea in the image of the tree. Thanks so much for your entry and good luck.
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Wow, Kasey was right, your poems are more depressing than Shelby's jk . I agree that the ending is not so great. I love the imagery.
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better?
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yeah it's better...
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So much sadness and heartache..depression and pain..there is so much raw emotion in this..It was a good write except the end...keep up the good work...
Love eternally,
In Christ,
~Kayla~
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whats wrong with the end?
off rhythm-ish? -
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do u like this better?
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yeah kinda..
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