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The Premature Patron Saint

Please don’t look into my eyes
Take your hands away from my face
There's only so much I can disguise
Before I crumble in your embrace

The mysteries of life are unknown to me
This is why I call this farce romance
I've given my whole heart to thee
Even thought this may be only our first chance

My heart is older than my years
But still is cloaked in youth
Our last kiss confirmed my fears
And chocked me with the truth

Please don’t touch my lips
Take your hands away from my hands
Your smile heals and yet it rips
All the decency from my demands

How am I supposed to be strong
When your simple words break my bones
I cant help but feel I’m doing wrong
When my angel’s singing turns to moans

My heart is older than my years
But still is cloaked in youth
Our last kiss confirmed my fears
And chocked me with the truth
Wisdom is something I cant waste
Since I have so little to use

I trusted you to keep me safe
And you have done that well
But now each second feels like a strafe
And each memory a fired shell

My heart is older than my years
But still is cloaked in youth
Our last kiss confirmed my fears
And chocked me with the truth

My heart is older than my years
But still is cloaked in youth
Our last kiss confirmed my fears
And chocked me with the truth
Wisdom is something I cant waste
Since I have so little to use

My heart is older than my years
But still is cloaked in youth
Our last kiss confirmed by fears
And chocked me with the truth
Wisdom is something I cant waste
Since I have so little to use
And the following years will have a bitter taste
But make you a fate I cant refuse

Author notes

Dedicated to Pete
I would give anything in this world to meet you later in life. Sometimes i feel that i'm too young to love you as much as i do, and pray those feelings are wrong. I dont want to choose between experience and completeness.


5. Just when you thought you had it all,
it all falls apart.
~Jess

Option 5

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    December 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sorry about the comment thing... Error messages keep coming up when I try and post them to the entries in question.

    I can relate so much to what you are saying here though. Often I feel I am too young to be dealing with some of the things going on in my relationships in my life... It makes it worse when you have been hurt in the past before, it makes it hard to believe in someone else.

    Sorry about inconvinience, wasn't trying to be rude.


  • Nidaeah
    October 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Thank you

    Thaks for this oiece. Very moving, and great with the imagery.

    Please don’t touch my lips
    Take your hands away from my hands
    Your smile heals and yet it rips
    All the decency from my demands

    I like this stanza a lot. Especially the part about the smile. Thanks, and good luck!


  • catalyst.
    October 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The rhyming was brilliant and the concept was wonderful.
    This may just be my opinion but I think It would read smother if you let up on the chorus and only said it two or three times. The repitition seemed to through off the flow a bit for me.Thats just my opinion though. Poetry is such a personal expression.

    Great write though. I loved the ending!

  • piccola silver member
    September 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    My count may be off but I believe this goes beyond the 32 line limit. You may either edit or remove. I understand if you don't want to edit. I don't like to change my work even for a shiny gold trophy.


  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    September 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your beautiful entry, good luck in my contest, Josie


  • The Otep
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is great!! The flow of this is amazing I totally enjoyed the read


  • Captain Jenny
    August 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice. You created a great effect with the use of repetition. Thanks for entering

1 - 7 of 7