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Busty Bargains.

The body is a precious thing, and it must be respected.
Those breasts you tried so hard to groom, must never be neglected!
So here we have a home for them, for when the owner's gone-
It's spacious and for randy ones, it houses more than one!
And if your head needs chopping off, my dear, then so be it!
This coffin isn't made for bodies- only breasts need fit.
The length? It needn't bother you, the size is at request.
We've many templates for the bust, to help you look your best.
But if they sag or grow too large, we've permission to adjust.
After all, you cannot die without a perfect bust!
It's twenty pounds, we even give a discount now and then- 
And if you only have one breast, it's yours for only Ten!



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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • imahealer
    August 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This verse is humorous, randy, and very unique. I do have a problem with chopping off the head! Is there room in your creation to at least bury all body parts, even if you have to disassemble? This is another clever ad. Famous people still look for bargains! And you even make the women who have had mastectomies feel at ease.
    Your meter and rhyme scheme is spot on. All in all, this is a different sort of take on this coffin. How long is this coffin. At twenty pounds, it might be good for the "little people!" Thank you so much for your darling ad.

    Linda


    • Ally
      August 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      do you mean i should change it so that its not quite so malicious in chopping of the head?
      ooh and when i said "only breasts need fit." i meant its not important how the rest of the body looks, as long as the breasts fit neatly! =D
      i think i may have changed it suitably to your advice. =]
      ally
      x

      • imahealer
        August 20, 2008

        Edit | Reply
        I kinda liked chopping off the head. That was really funny! All I meant was said in jest, but I do like some of the edits! You are very talented! I have a weird sense of humor, so it might seem like it's a critique, when I am just trying to make you laugh as much as I did.!

        Linda
        You are right. When you're dead, you're dead! LOL


        • Ally
          August 21, 2008

          Edit | Reply
          oh man. i'm so bad at interpretation!!
          i thought you meant you had a problem with it as in i should take that part out!!
          should i put it back in? x

1 - 5 of 5