in that camera
in that fair facade
you tell me
be me, but different
be me, but someone else
you tell me, stay true to yourself
no sex before marriage
no drugs
nothing out of the ordinary
or even original
words come out
but it's never what I want to hear
words
so harsh
so unfortunate
play with me
take advantage of my softness
expect far too much
appreciation:
little to none
when I think about it,
I don't know why I never saw it
my own mother
can't seem to care
to show me anything good
plagued since the mind of a young child I had
negativity upon me
time in and time out
curling naked
to love myself?
nothing much to say
how can I?
when there's nothing to back me?
when I look into the mirror and see nothing but everyone's disappointment
support seems far from here
maybe it's just a phone call away
but I turn inside out when it all goes wrong
don't want to talk to others
inside out here
you tell me
never stray from sameness
never breakaway
squish uniqueness
and my independence
try to bind me down when all I want is more
blind me
from the start that's all you've wanted to do
a caged bird
can't you see all I want is to be myself?
all I want is your approval
and you refuse to see the good in me
I could be your "perfect"
but that would mean add to the mask I wear with you
add to the list of things that would only disappoint you
the things you'll never know
look behind me in shame
look forward
and still the disappointment stretches
I try to reach your top
but never will
always inches from my grasp
like your love,
never to appreciate me
never to know more than absent nagging towards me
Self reflection leads me nowhere, only back where it all started
you
Author notes
8/19
A contest entry
- the biggest prewrite contest ever by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended January 18, 362 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Anything to help me make it better, Any title suggestions?
Comments
-
Full of Emotion
I really do like this piece. Although the spacing is a little strange, your emotion in this is clearly portrayed. This is something that happens all to often to people. Although I have never had to experience it myself, many people close to me have. Its very unfortunate. But you do a very good job of expressing the pain that it causes and how it affects you. All in all this is a wonderful piece. Good Job! -
I think more cohesion....
it's a little too broken up and spaced apart; perhaps a closer rendition in dirty pretty might amend this....hmmm, now for the poem matter: excellent write; unfortunately your circumstance (gathered from the poem) is all too common. Reminds me of what my mother used to say of her childhood days... I agree, though most of society doesn't and you may not, with some of what your family says: "you tell me, stay true to yourself
no sex before marriage, no drugs..." But not the part "nothing out of the ordinary or even original" - what, they want you to have no dreams, to shoot for the moon, or be an astronaut? Interesting write; it gives me much to ponder.
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I love this poem. Everything from the structure of it to the way you work in the words works brilliantly. Congratulations on penning a wonderful poem!
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