I'm seeking those who would be interested becoming apart of my special circle of poetic relationships. To be supportive, encouraging and help in unique ways to make life here so enriching. These are the roles I would like you to write me a poem and tell me how you would fit that situation perfectly:
Uncle - preferably somebody like my real one. Who thought he was Napoleon, kept a private collection of toxic waste containers, own a lint pyramid and sold Tupperware shaped like farm animals
Aunt - would really love to find a nice individual would reminded me of my dear relation. The one who was a ghost that lived in my closet and told really cool bed time stories about killer onions that came from Venus wearing armor made of chewing gum.
Cousin Troll - Okay a bit more challenging. Someone who can amuse me with their knock knock jokes about fleas, farting and thermonuclear war. Also wrote a cookbook for gopher entrails casseroles.
Brother Butler - I'm so excited at the idea of a person who could help enlighten me on such things as stalker etiquette, fashion sense in morgue attire, knows elegance from the racks of a thrift store.
Sister Cesspool Siren - Oh yeah, would love a sister who knew all about plumbing and sewers. The good stuff naturally. And has perhaps written her own collection of dear john poems devoted to toilets. Oh would be great too if she did mime imitations of cottage cheese and pickle banshees.
Second Cousin Therapist - Could benefit from a good listening ear. Somebody really that is in touch with spiritual side of life, believes that was once King Kong and Elmer Fudd.
Can't wait to read all the great entries. Be the first to join my wonderful extended family.
Rules:
Please use the force, well some infomercial on camping to guide you on this part.
A contest entry
- Fake it Contest by galfalfa.
525 points, ended August 29, 2008, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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My favorite is Uncle. I'd like to compete to be your AP uncle please. Yes, I realize that I am a woman, but then, origanally so was Uncle. And I promise to wear a tall top hat like Willie Wanka and always bring you a choclate bar when I visit.
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gopher entrails, Elmer Fudd, King Kong Oo !!
stalker etiquette ...
....
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LOL, i imagine you will gets lots of entries..then you can spend all your time on AP with your pretend family and ignore your real family
thank you for this! -
I guess I could be a second cousin therapist since I work in a therapy department. I'm a good listener too. And who ever said that King Kong and elmer fudd didn't exist didn't stay up late and watch them with me when I was a kid... or even lately sitting on the couch all snuggly with my husband as we watched King Kong together.
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I think I have a few of those "Dear John" poems lying about in my poor misshaped little mind, as you know my children feed the inspiration as often as they can! This is hilarious!!! You have a wonderful imagination and clever appeal to be able to even think up some of this stuff you know! I would be happy to pen you a crazy poem to go along with some of this lol. Best wishes in the contest!!! Great write!!!
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OMG~
Holy Moly what a family and the medication would have to kick in to kick the tush towards the front of the line to make a bid
Love You like Family
j/k~
Love this!!
Walks then falls into wall
Thank You for sharing Your Talent also Spirit~
Many blessings to You in the contest Sweetness
Best wishes too
and my Love & Light
~ Desire~*~
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omg lol
i love you -
This is really hilarious
I love humor and this hit me right where I live--
Well Done & Best of Luck in the contest!
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Lmao what a rib tickling contest. I hope you are sitting down, look no further for I just happen to have farm shaped tupperware from the original moulding by Ol' Macdonald himself. I can cram spam sandwhiches into the shapes of prize bullocks Call me Uncle Yvette !
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LOL Just when I think you can't take your unusual sense of humor any further, you do!! This is awesome lol. Best of luck brother dear.
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Oh my my my! How do you know about my 'Dear John' letters
This would be a very interesting contest to say the least! Well done. 
Good luck in the contest!
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I really thought you were being serious here.. this is so awesome I absolutely love it.. You've got a great imagination and a wonderful sense of humor.. WOW
Outstanding job..
good luck brother
kat
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this is awesome papa, i love it, and your imagination
good luck in the contest and take care
Stephanie ♥
p.s. i cant make up my mind between the aunt, or second cousin therapist..
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*snorts* I thought you were being serious! I totally was lining up a poem ready to impress you!!! I'm such a doofus! Hee hee hee...
Dari xxx
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Only you my dear brother! This is hilarious! (had to take a break from the novel for a few minutes, so thought I would read for a little bit.
This is great! You never cease to amaze me with what you come up with!
Best of luck in this contest!
and love
Nyetta
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