Ripley wouldn't even believe the shape my mind is in
I ran out of my medicine, now the world makes no sense,
Functioning is something that I can't comprehend right now
My head is swimming, spinning, everything is so damn intense
It's my own fault when this occurs, I'm so damn upset today
I'm going in circles, afraid I'm going to lose my shattered mind,
The minutes seem like eons, I feel like I am alone in the world
Like a skein of yarn, that's beginning to literally unwind
I pray that tomorrow it will be so much better, normal will return
For if it doesn't, I don't know what will happen to lil ole me,
My family doesn't understand how it feels to be bi-polar on this earth
This round has for sure taken it's toll, won't someone please set me free
Author notes
A down and out day. Not my usual poetic way.
POETDONTKNOWIT
WRITING IT HER OWN WAY
A contest entry
- Finally Someone To Talk To by storiesuntold.
450 points, ended September 2, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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a very nice poem most people don't understand how a mental illness can cause you to feel good write
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I know how this feels. Once that overwhelmed feeling hits its really hard to pull yourself back together and be normal. And once you've gone off once there are all these little triggers waiting to be tripped.
One thing to be thankful for.... isnt it great that there ARE these little pills that make it all better? -
Oh honey
I so hope you get your meds refilled and back on them for it is so important .I have a neice that is bipolar and she is such a doll when she takes her meds but when she gets to where she feels she doesnt need them anymore no one can talk to her and she is so very sad .Please get back on your meds and live to its fullest Love Patty
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This seemed like more of a story than a poem to me...
A bit whinny to, but we all have those days, including me(my poem Liar's Chair), so I won't complain.
Most the imagery is pretty standard and a bit over used, I must admit--like shattered mind and losing it. All a bit over played.
But I agree with sassykitty that it is a very honest write. -
A very searing and honest write you have here and I take your point about it not being the usual poetic way because it reads a bit like prose in places. Nevertheless there's great potential in here, you may want to think about the line length and maybe introduce more figurative devices such as simile, metaphor and personification. The sentiments are so clearly expressed and you really do communicate your feelings effectively. Good luck in your contest, be interesting to see if you do work on this. Thanks and I hope writing it was a cathartic experience for you. Take care.
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