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Autumn Has Arrived

Another day has come and gone
alone and lonely
for how long?
She pours herself another drink
but she can't block the pain it brings

The memories hurt her so bad
her life has  been hard and
she is oh so sad.
Tied up and bleeding
her heart won't stop needing
if she can wash her guilt away
so she can embrace a better day
and resume her heart's true beating.

Maybe tomorrow she will find
the love she's been denied
the gallons of tears she has cried
will magically dry
when he doesn't say goodbye.
Now autumn has arrived.

When will things change
when will love arrive
she goes through the motions
but can no longer drive.
Her heart is at a crossroads
which life road should she take
right turn or left
which one is a mistake?
She has had so many hopes
she can't allow herself to dream
to break the barrier of self doubt
and listen for her screams.

Her screams have now faded
into soft hollow cries
his memory is shaded
in a history of goodbyes.

Author notes

inspired from "Wasted Time" by the Eagles...
a song for you Az...my muse has sung for you...
blessed be

A contest entry

honesty please...

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • reckless abandon
    September 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I do like this though I liked some of the stanzas a lot better than others. In particular stanzas 2 and 3 seemed to lack the flow of the rest of them. Thanks for entering and good luck.


  • CatQueen248
    August 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Yeah it sounds much better, thanks for listening to my suggestion and for the comment.

  • CatQueen248
    August 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think it might sound better if you put instead of "can", change it to "can't." Something like "she pours herself a drink/,but she can't block the pain it brings." It would just fit better with the next sentence, the memories hurt her so bad. It's up to you though. This was such a sad poem, but very well written.


    • vici377
      August 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Cat...
      thanx for the suggestion..I think you are right..
      blessings..
      namaste..
      r


  • Congruence
    August 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice - very well put together - you could give this a little polish.

    I like the way it is written, the narrative is really nice.

    Some very interesting ideas in here.

    James
    x


    • vici377
      August 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      James
      thank you so much for your kind comment and continued support..
      hugs a bunch..
      namaste..
      r


  • aboomer silver member
    August 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great emotion in this! I think it goes great for that prompt. I especially like your ending,
    'Her screams have now faded
    into soft hollow cries
    his memory is shaded
    in a history of goodbyes. '
    best wishes in the contest


    • vici377
      August 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you Lady Ab for your continued support..
      love you bunches,
      r


  • Fug-azi
    August 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply


    • vici377
      August 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Colin...
      thanx so much for the support and the hug..I need one about now..hehe..
      blessings my dear friend,
      r


  • SummerlandRayne gold member
    August 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    So Beautiful!

    Sister...I feel each word in my soul...the tune is magical and mystic. I am so very touched by this poem, more than I can express. Thanks you so much r...I love you Sis!

    Blessed be~

    • vici377
      August 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I am so happy this has touched you..that was my intention..sometimes things are far too hectic in my life..and I must let those I love and cherish know that I am still around and always keeping them in my daily blessings....May Goddess keep you in her heart..wrap you with her protection..Blessed be my dear sister..
      always,
      r

1 - 12 of 12