The world was beautiful before you came,
and then I found it all in you, the beauty in everything I saw,
just in you, all around you, about you,
in all that you do……
In the words you speak and the thrill of your laughter,
the cuteness of your smile, the wrinkles of your frown,
and the scent of your skin.
I can walk no further to explore what is left of this world,
My mind walks nowhere but to you…
My mind is paralyzed with your thought,
That, as each day begins I hear no chirping of birds, but your voice,
Feel no other pain but yours; hear no other laughter but yours.
I have lost all my senses and yet, I know I can never love this way…
Author notes
Less than 14 lines, but it's not short!
A contest entry
- All Senses Contest ( pre-writes allowed now ) by HopelessScribbles.
650 points, ended August 26, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
Omg. I do not know what to say about this. I am seriously speechless. This is freaking amazing! I loved every bit of it. Such a lovely write. Beautifully penned Lencio. Congratulations on the Silver! Well deserved!
-
-
thanks Ylova, yeah these were written after a long comeback! and then the winnings inspired me to go on, I had taken a break in between!
but now im back!
-
-
Excellent write
So often we give love our all and kow the greatness it could bring if both minds were free to realliz it and yet today often other things causes some minds to be frozen in time . If they only knew of the love so coming through it would be their safe haven to regain life as they so need
-
Awww that's really sweet, yet there is a strong sense of sadness underlying. (But i love poems that are like that). You have great talent
-
Hi twin
how have you been? nice to read your writing again. Sounds like you have a friend maybe of the opposite gender? for a quickie this had a few gems hidden in it I loved the line "My mind is paralyzed with your thought" that is very descriptive almost sums up the whole theme well done...
Cyber Artist
-
Excellent imagery within this piece!
Well Done & Good Luck in the contest!
-
you are right - it's funny what seems short and what doesn't - it isn't alway dependent upon line count. This seems a sad piece, Lencio. Nice to see you back and hope you are doing fine.
-
it sad in a romantic wa
-
hello, very sweet
poetry, it meets requirements as far as I see, this really had me in tears, it truly inspires one to be in love and treasure it, thank you for this senses poem, good luck
Linda
-
-
Thanks!
This is a wonderful contest and writers can go on and on on such a topic. What a wonderful theme you chose for your contest. this was jsut how I felt right now and right here, a 5 minute poem what I would call it, and had no editing. Straight from the heart, and I am glad you liked it.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
