The dam flowed silent whispers
over bridal veils
of white champagne suds,
tipsy with emotions
the boy from afar
sparkled,
sending sky blue chills
into my heart
of open arms,
we walked the curves
of the windy creek
for an invisible hideaway,
ripples of excitement
filled us,
his lips neared mine
a new found love
came over,
a forever pure
first kiss
in a remembered youth,
along the trickling waterways
of all life
A contest entry
- lovelovelove! ^-^ by sora..
700 points, ended September 3, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Awesome write
I like how you use the imagery of love being like a dam. The description of the water from the beginning to the end. Also, the description of what was taking place in nature around what you and the one you were kissing.
Typo on the stanza "for a invisible hideaway," I think you meant to type "an" instead of "a" I may be wrong.
Awesome write. Keep up the good writes and best of luck in the contest. -
ohhhh this made me all tingly!
...or perhaps it was the champagne...
=P
great work!
Adding your comment:
