Sin;
to surrender to earthly temptation
for body and soul
are never to be united
(God, this pastor is boring me to -)
I repent.
I keep a money box;
add a dollar
for every time
I go to church for forgiveness
(all money I stole from Fa -)
I repent.
I want to feel
the moon shine
on my pretty little eyes
and pretty little mind
that only knows nature from my garden
(just say it; this place is hel -)
I repent.
And Mother arranged a marriage for me
with a man much older
(and pretty sleaz -)
I repent.
I am lucky to be joined
with him
(he's old
but he's wealthy;
I am willing to sacrifice happine -)
I repent.
And I'll look after the children
who will inherit his land
(yeah, for he won't leave ME a da -)
I cannot repent.
There's no more room in the money box.
(Counting
one dollar for each sin...
Is there really so much money I can fle -)
Author notes
~*~
A contest entry
- ~Do Still Not Know What Sin Is~ by SoulfulBubbles.
300 points, ended October 2, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me feel (pre-writes allowed) by Shacadia Shay.
410 points, ended September 10, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
ok um its a really good write but i don't really lyk how in brackets the last word isn't written completely. also i must regretfully ask you to go back & reread the rules & post up my symbol so i know you've read them
thank you for entering my contest & best of luck.
--Blessed be--
Shacadia Shay -
this interesting i like the ("") parts, tho it took me a bit to get use to it, i think it would be neat to have one last ("") thing at the end but instead let it be a little longer.
i like it
please let me know when you or if you edit it so i can read it again
and congrats your a finalist
thank your for entering
-
-
thanks for the comment :] I have just made some changes - sorry if it became quite long - and added another ("") at the end. Tell me which version you prefer
-
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