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Timeless

Missing image

Living within a vapor,
a momentary spark,
we only have a lifetime
in which to leave our mark.

Suspended in this moment,
looking in your eyes,
I see infinite tomorrows
under heaven's skies.

More than mere emotion,
or temporary bliss~
eternity I have tasted
deep within your kiss...

Trans-Chorus:
Here with you in my arms
is right where I belong~
I may be a songwriter,
but, darlin', you are my song...

Chorus 1:
We cannot take for granted
any moment we are blessed~
this love is more than we imagined,
more than we guessed...
It is timeless...

It seems a tad cliche,
words within a rhyme~

simple turns of phrase
about the passing of time...

Yet here I am with you,
time is standing still~
the clock will start again,
eventually, it will...

Let's not think of tomorrow,
or dwell on yesterday~
we are here in this moment,
so, in this moment let's stay.


Chorus 1:
We cannot take for granted
any moment we are blessed~
this love is more than we imagined,
more than we guessed...

Love is timeless...

Timeless...

/break/

Bridge:
Frozen in time
is hourglass sand...
Falling in love
is more than we planned.
Still, here we are
together ~ you and I,
we dare not walk away
from love we cannot deny

 

Chorus 2:
In the twinkling of an eye,

So cliche, yes, but so true~
but if this moment is all I have,
I want to spend it with you...

Chorus 1:
We cannot take for granted
any moment we are blessed~
this love is more than we imagined,
more than we guessed...
It is timeless...


Love is timeless...

Timeless...

 

Author notes

"Finalist"
The Prompt: "Timeless"
Take it where you want. -- what does the word mean to you?

Image Credit: http://allstars-online.net/notebook26.html

For my Beloved

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful song, you are so fortunate to have such a passionate love in your life. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.

    ♥
    whisper


  • Samantha Marie
    September 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hmmmm i would love to hear the music to this~!
    thanks for entering and good luck


  • delightfulmess silver member
    September 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OOOOH I love it! Love It!!!!!
    What an amazing song.
    Such beauty. and feeling I wish I could hear it.

    Thank you for entering my contest.


    Delila


  • Legend silver member
    September 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on your bronze award more than deserving, a excellent read


  • Manoj Sanyal
    September 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely poem indeed and rhymed very well.
    I lost to you in "Florida Sunshine" contest ... and you really deserved there.
    Best wishes and good luck,


  • Paloszoo gold member
    September 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was stunning. Simply breathtaking. The rhythm just flowed from the pen and the rhyme was right on. The first stanza blew me away and compelled me to read on! Way to go!


  • Soft-Rain
    September 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This touched my heart deeply. Everything about this song was beautiful from your heart.
    When i read it my heart skips a beat.
    I am humbled you wrote for me.
    Thank you my sweet love.

    I love you,
    Your Lifetime


  • Florida Sunshine
    September 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You are officially my first review to the contest; because this is a 'final' contest, I am feel I should be as strict as I can be in looking over every aspect of the poetry presented. I have never claimed to be an expert in any of the categories, however I have been learning a great deal over the last few months. Not only did I want to challenge you [the poet] but myself as a judge.

    Below I've made the ruling/score in regards to the points. If you disagree with any of my reasoning please 'reply' to the comment made by me – with “Challenge” and an explaination why you feel my assessment is wrong. If I agree with your argument I will change the score. [I'm never to proud to admit when I'm wrong.] If I feel I am still 'correct' I will bring in a 2nd judge to make the final decision to a change. This final judge will be through my grammar group.

    Your Scores:

    Finalist -- 10/10 points - congrats on making it to the final round, I'm glad you were able to join us.

    Use of Prompt - 20/25 Points – Timeless and love does go hand in hand, the poem is a bit cliché in regards to the prompt, yet you didn't just talk about 'love' in a lustful way, but the everlasting love – truly 'till death do you part' type love. Therefore I only -5 points for this.

    Poetic Form – 20/20 points – I had to give you the full 20 points for this, simple because you took a prompt and used a 'song' form to convey the message of love. Music throughout the years becomes 'timeless' in its own right. -- Still my mom will be singing songs even from before I was born, planting the seed in my mind every time I hear that long I'll think of her. Nice choice.

    Use of Grammar - 10/10 Points – The '...' even if being used as a long pause, you should use 4 .... to end the sentence, not 3. The use of only ... is a continuation of the sentence, which means you shouldn't have started the following line with a cap. Though I am one who loves the use of ... and use it often, mainly because I'm an online chatter. Started a bad habit, even I have to break. Still had to minus 5 points. *** Under challenge- Review. Yes, the review is in, and you are correct, as usage the... is allow. My teacher stated there were no errors.

    Spelling - 10/10 points - I did not minus for Darlin' because it is being used as a poetic form and a dialect of speaking to another.

    Overall Presentation 25/25 points – You captured my attention from the minute I clicked on the page. The picture, the background, the font and the font color all created an alluring looking to the page to make anyone want to read this.The poetry itself simply blew me away--I found this piece overwhelming passionate. -- If I could give you bonus points for this I would, because you exceeded my expectations

    Your total score is 95

    I know it's been a long road in the round contest, I appreciate your participation. This is an amazing piece of poetry, I really loved it.

    Best of luck to you,
    Florida Sunshine

1 - 8 of 8