Love it or leave it baby, the best days are behind us && I can see through your guilt. Paint my pain with a chalk outline on the sidewalk. I never mattered in the first place, just a replacement for the ones who couldn't be there. Drain me, baby, like the last drops of whiskey from your glass. I knew it was over before we even began. You took everything from me, && everthing I did was in the name of love. Your pledge of forever, rang through with the aftershocks of never. It was a lie just like your black hair, the scent of your arrogance clings to my clothes && hair. Another lesson learned about love && life. I'm sick of second chances baby, && you want a forty-fifth, sing me a new tune baby. I puked up all the love I ever had for you.
A contest entry
- Running On Empty by Touchof1der.
600 points, ended August 27, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite-palooza by swim.x.
1650 points, ended October 6, 2008, 101 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I'm not a big fan of prose, but with this you proved to me that it's not all bad
I totally know what you're talking about here and am proud that someone is able to put such complex ideas into such a compact paragraph / poem.
Congratulations and good luck in the contest.
Chin up,
Swim.x -
Interesting take on the prompt. I would have liked to have seen this written out in elongated form as it most aesthetically appealing to the eyes. Best of luck to you in the contest. I appreciate your taking the time and making the effort to enter. I hope it proved to be an enjoyable experience and challenge for you.
♥ Touchof1der -
I was surprised to see that this was written by a female. The word choices, imagry and the type of rawness seems more masculine. That's not a bad thing, just the way I filtered it I guess. I like the "take no prisoners" attitude in this. You set that pace with your opening words of "Love it or leave it baby". Nicely done!
~woof
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