Her arm rests on one raised knee,
Cigarette at right angles to the floor,
Fingers pointing downwards and away;
Underlining her words
With a wave of the glowing tip.
Peering through glasses,
Gaze sweeping the room,
Her relaxed smile supremely confident -
No hecklers in this audience!
And so she explains the ways of the universe.
We are her imperial guard,
Our rank and role precisely defined,
Inwardly standing to attention
From our sprawled positions
Around her throne.
Our goddess shines
Upon her unworthy creatures
Through shrouded mourning
Of summer depressions and winter sieges,
Of swelling limbs and mysterious ailments,
Battle-scarred but victorious,
Bloodied but invincible,
Sails on with glory to the very end,
A mighty lioness roaring in her cage.
In a list
A contest entry
- You by Demington.
850 points, ended September 3, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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This poem is very well done. I like the perspective shift established with "We are her imperial guard," in that it changes the taste, the flavor of your work by adding a more defined third person perspective.
Overall I think this poem was a bit vague, but was benifited by this ambiguity. Nicely done.
Blessing,
C


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how funny, when I read the title, I thought of a hindu goddess, like durga, a sort of universal mother ...
then I read the poem and got really huge eyes when visualizing the goddess with a cigarette in her mouth
... for sure this image had a quite dis-illusioning effect ... but who knows, maybe the goddesses descend now taking forms they know would appeal to us, so we listen to them and they can spread their blessings amongst us ...
look, this is the goddess I'm talking about, she has the lion as her vehicle and kills the demon of ego with her powerful weapons :


maa

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It's actually about my mum!
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well, that makes sense !
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