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I haven't forgotten you....[2]

The ferris wheel has long since broken down,
it doesn't even light up.

I still count the light posts...
I would get to three and you'd be here.


I've counted up to 6
at least a dozen times...




I want to keep counting,
but I think I'm finaly done.





I have long since grown up..
I don't even have the urge anymore











I just like to feel the sand on my toes...

Author notes

this is for tuesday 8/19/08

http://media.photobucket.com/image/broken%20hearts/catswillrule/pier.jpg?o=319

its true i havent
and i probaby never will
but i have grown up
and as i said
i just like the feel of sand on my toes
thats all it is now...

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • broken-colours
    January 9

    Edit | Reply
    This was really cute. haha. see I said it again.
    But yes, anyway. It was cute and yet so complex.

    I love the idea of counting to see if that certain someone would come back.
    And the ending was clever and beautiful.

    Wow.

  • Broken-Bones
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I thought this was a wonderful take on the picture, you realy crafted a story from it. I loved the romance at the start, it seemed innocent and sweet but I loved the way you showed hhow things change and how we grow up. I alos loved your final line, It showed how simple things like sand between our toes stay with us and comfort/please us. Great work x


  • innocence jaded.xx
    August 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    :]
    I love this poem. I'll stick to my former comment: AMAZINGGG.
    Love you muchest babe♥


  • storiesuntold gold member
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Aw tis is sweet and sad

    Yes over time we get a lighter shade of blue for the memories that once crowded our minds and today we remember the simpler things and not the complete day . Lovely


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    August 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What once held memories & meaning become a little different when we are an 'adult'. Because the small things aren't big to us anymore and the big things certainly can't be small. But yes, going back to a feeling so beautiful, is lovely. It's okay to regress every once in a while though, to remind yourself of how it used to be.


  • Hell In Harmony
    August 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I've counted up to 6
    at least a dozen times...




    I want to keep counting,
    but I think I'm finaly done.

    <3


  • faithwhisperer silver member
    August 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Really like both your picture for inspiration, and your poem!~ Well done!


  • Riamh
    August 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed this write immensely, probably your best write.
    Never grow up, lil one, you are just precious!
    Very well done.

    A typo on "finaly" ~ should be "finally"

    *hugs*
    Slayer


  • etoile
    August 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow i love this soooo much
    its sad tho
    wow. im in love with this
    you don't even understand
    i think this is my new favourite by you
    ive read it like 3 times already lmfao
    this is honestly beautiful.
    the emotions are WOW
    and the imagery with the whole ferris wheel concept = wonderfulll

    xoxoxox<3333


  • Arkaengel
    August 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I just like to feel the sand on my toes...
    thats my favorite line!

    i really like this

  • innocence jaded.xx
    August 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Aw, wow, dear this is beautiful. I loved every worrrd. The only mistake I could find was that "faris" should be "ferris", but that's about it. Otherwise, the poem was amazinggg, love. I was drawn in from the first line. Much love♥

1 - 20 of 20