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No Roads Left

I try and I try
But for what
I always fail
I never suceed
I want to win the war in the end
But I run from the battles
So the war never begins
Because I run and run until
I'm left with only one direction to go
So I keep running and running
But soon I'm left at a dead end
No where to go

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • XpushXmeXagainX
    October 6, 2008

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    I think this could stand to be a few more lines.
    Although, it's nicely written.
    It's sort of how I feel with new challenges.
    I know I HAVE to do it, but it just scares me to death, so I want to just run.
    Thank you for sharing.


  • alexandra.
    September 8, 2008

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    I like the feeling of mind-jumping here. The way you go from wanting to win the war to running and running.
    Honestly, it could do with some expanding, it feels a little rushed, a little short. Please do, I'd love to read it again.


  • Broken-Bones
    September 1, 2008

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    I thought that your structure really worked with the piece, the short line length and the repition of the words run and running really created that rushed feeling of hurrying and darting away. I really loved the lines "I want to win the war in the end, But I run from the battles". I thought that captured a bit of human nature and a lot of feeling. Good work, Keep the ink flowing and welcome to AP x


  • StormGoddess Greeters member
    August 20, 2008
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    Welcome to AllPoetry!

    There is always a light at the end somewhere, you just need to find it. I can feel the emotion in your words, you have conveyed them well.

    Welcome to AP. If you have any questions or need help with anything, feel free to IM me.
    Keep expressing through writing.


  • raspberry Greeters member
    August 20, 2008
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    There is always a bend.. a turn.. a hope of new light Life has them all in promise. Even if the road leads to a dead end, you can always retrace the path and take a new turn.. beautiful mysteries would be there in store for u. So, never get tired in discovering that hidden path laid just for you to tread Welcome to Allpoetry..


  • crazymomma
    August 19, 2008

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    I used to be one of those people who tried to always avoid conflict and would run away from trouble. I really enjoyed the ending in this because that "dead end" was where I finally learned to face my problems. Nicely written.

1 - 6 of 6