Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Every hour, on the hour

Whenever I think of you I come unglued
Whenever I think of you I lose my cool

You are the one who keeps me whole
You are the one who completes my soul

Without you I'm not sure what I would do
Without you I'm sure I would be doomed

You are the only one who knows exactly what to say
You are the only one who understands my every way

I want you to know that everything i did was for you
I want you to know that all i ever wanted was you

At the end of the day,
[when you're finished playing your clever little game]
I just wish you would stay

Author notes

kerri

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Rose Darkest Night
    August 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm...something about this piece is something I like, but another part seems too clique for me. Many of these lines are things that are overused in poetry now a days, but in your poem they are not bad!

    It's a great poem, but for me, I'm just not biting the bait it seems. Though I admit the ending was perfect for it.

    I may look back on this....

    ♥♥♥


  • speakno3vil
    August 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ya know, i like monopoly...or risk those are some good games.


  • InRegardsToMyself
    August 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice, you make the emotion in this very real in some ways... i think that many people can relate to this in different ways, but non the less, amazing job!


  • crazymomma
    August 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I found this poem to be very sad. It sounded so wonderful up until the very end. It can't be true love if there is game playing. It is very nicely written with good rhyme and flow but still, to me, quite sad.

    • brittany.geeze
      August 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      well actually the part about the game playing i was actually referring to video games... but i understand how easily it can be taken for the other kind of game playing, and if i was to read a line in someone else's poem wrote like mine, i would think the same thing as you thought, but no it's about video games, not cheating.


  • Jenny84
    August 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very good ode to the one that you love. Thank you and good luck in the contest. I like the part with out you I'd be doomed.

1 - 8 of 8