the door creeks
to an empty home
inside… cobwebs sway
to the cold whistle
of winter’s wind
this is how,
she left me
…so long ago
A contest entry
- in the dialect of doors by Nicolette.
1050 points, ended August 27, 2008, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Beautiful entry here, the transition is done so very well and the sadness is palpable.
C
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Lovely transition from outside to inside to outside here, Mally. My heart understands this poem so very well right now... I could see the door swaying in the wind - and feel the cold. Wonderful writing here - thank you for this entry.
~ Nicolette
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Excellent write. I love how you use such great imagery to write about how "she" left you. I wish you the best in the contest.
Sam
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Love how the centre of the poem shifts completely from outside the subject, to within, in such little space.
Deftly done. Deftly done indeed.
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Ouch once again your words are very very clear and thick with imagery. sigh..
Great work once again.
Warm thoughts.
Frozentearz
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sad and yet
very forlorn to an old has been love...now the heart mends and you fend off all that seeks the love of
a good hearted soul...lol good job
Lin
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a brilliant piece with nostalgic feeling....
the door creeks
to an empty home
inside… cobwebs sway
to the cold whistle
of winter’s wind
this is how,
she left me
…so long ago
...as daylight lost in the traps of yesterdays photographs
I fumble in the path of this mornings thoughts
dipping aging hand into the silent clouds of melancholy
muttering methapors while tasting hollow imaginations
as dragonflies flew from the first rains of my reveries
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and a lotus blossoms
in my garden afar
love the little comment poem tatts...thank you
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