I cut myself open and looked inside,
I just rub those aweful scars now,
taking some strange comfort in the irony,
these invasions were wholly unnecessary.
People said there were all sorts of terrible things inside me,
now I know it's all just pink flesh, bone, and blood....
hard to tell what's really in there because it is messy.
If you dig around it only gets more confusing.
What's this?
Where does it fit into the anatomy?
I dunno.
It could be important though.
I could squeeze it and see what happens.
But yeah, I should probably put it back...only squeezing perhaps a little in the process.
My sense of self importance,
is only important to me.
Just wanted to be myself.
Maybe I wanted to die some as I saw the world.
Just let all these arguments and reasons drain into the sucking cesspool of infinity,
from where they came to congeal in my brain.
I'm blood, guts, and gore...imperfect and malleable.
Shaped every day by a hundred little choices I make,
derived from a thousand criteria I never see,
all based on ideaology, ego, or id.
Masiah, inferiority, ego maniacle, typically megalomanian complexes,
proprieties I pretend to.
Very simple really.
No demons here.
No angels.
No, Not even me.
Intelligent designs factory has no quality control.
Churning out retards and suffering children,
broken souls,
ignorant couch potatoes.
Jesus is dead. He's not coming back. I just assumed you'd know...
dreams are for the sleeping.
Animals rape or eat other animals every day.
They kill for territory and rank....
and you think that the world is broken,
because humans do the same?
Are you ignorant, stupid, or insane?
I think A is the most common answer.
We don't want to face this world.
The more we know and let go of those myths,
the more freightening our reality.
The universe is an uncaring razor,
slicing away everything by rank of its permeability.
An important part of living is shuffling off the illusion,
and living by the truth that you see.
If you kill in the name of god, you're a murderer,
if you kill for your government, in the name probably of god,
you're a soldier,
if you kill for beauty you're a psycho.
Our government kills by the thousands.
For corporate gains.
If we're happy...
hey...that's okay.
Relative moralists go to church every day.
Sometimes the amoral pray.
There is no right and no wrong,
only following the way,
or failing to.
It takes all of your mental ability, your physical verility, and your emotional fortitude to live every moment.
Properly.
Yet you don't have to make an effort.
And I don't know anybody who lives this way.
Ad men don't reach these depths of thought,
and deliver to so many of us our values.
Where do you want to go today?
Wherever the fuck we tell you.
Author notes
First draft of a rant/dialogue/monologue...lots of work to boil it down into something meaningful and succinct.
Just an incomplete piece I posted for the sake of showing the process...an unrefined raw poem.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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You are revealing the self and self is revealing the poet ...and both are you...well done.....and thanks for sharing it...
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Thank you for reading and commenting in such a way that I feel highly honored.
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Excellent
Hmmm..., intriguing to say the least. I must say, I tend to agree with some of what you have to say. You express yourself very well in this draft. Will be interesting to see the final product. Again, well done.
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Yeah, wow you can tell its just a mixture of coherent thoughts, just stumbled out, but I like it that way. Don't change a thing in my opinion. Particularly the last stanza you bring up such powerful ideas, I think if you were to change any of it, it would alter the flow and feel of it. The attitude of it. I think its supposed to "get in your face" and deliberately mock the rules of sensible old school poetry. But that's just my opinion.
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Shit. Thank you. Now I really think I should change it but I don't want to. Maybe I'll just let it sit as it is and I'll say whatever I wish to add more eloquently in later pieces.
Thanks for your input.
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Quite refreshing to see a poem in the raw. The central theme does seem to drift in opinion, but I like this effect as it illustrates how our minds tangle and chew over matters, before our sense of reason helps us towards a conclusion. Yes, we are all imperfect and I guess even churches are only hospitals for sinners not museums for the perfect. As for 'killing in the name of God', we need to be sure he's really asked this of us, because I'm with you, it's murder. The only thing we can be sure he has asked us (if the bible, being his word is true) is to love one another. It's much easier to be cruel, self centered and wicked, but it takes self mastery to be able to really care about others. Great raw write, let me know when it's been finalised as I'd like to know where this tangled mind ends up. Thanks for sharing
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Your response makes me think I got some pieces right. I don't think any proper god wants us to kill one another, but know that it happens incindentally sometimes. War most likely does not fall into this category.
I know the bible was written under Roman auspices so long ago they couldn't even grasp our modern reality. But there's still those timeless truths written down, but sometimes motivationally misguided.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
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!!
that got me right in the gut...
it felt good.
=D
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Thanks for weeding through it and thanks for the comment.
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